Wedding Blues

The Truth

Chapter 5 – The Truth

    My hands were trembling, I was doing everything I could to stay calm so I could keep Troy from exploding. I had never seen him so upset, he was pacing the room and mumbling profanities. Every so often he would look up at me and frown before looking back to the ground and continued on. 

        “If you don’t stop you’re going to pace right through the floorboards.” I went to stand up and as soon as I was fully straight I lost my balance and fell back down into my seat. Troy closed the space between us and gently took my face in his hands. He looked so serious, his usually calm chiseled face was scrunched into a frown that I was unfamiliar with — the tears in my eyes gave in and began to flow over and down my cheeks. 

        “Please talk to me, I can’t bare this silence. Yell at me, scream at me, but don’t shut me out.” My lips trembled and Troy pressed his lips against mine with such force and passion it felt as though he was claiming me all over again. I was his. 

        “I will never raise my voice to you. I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me what had happened to you — I could have tried to protect you — “ Troys voice trailed off, I knew his mind went back to the scene of the crime. I had never been safe from Ian before. 

        “I had told people about the abuse before —“ I knew it was time for Troy to know the truth, and nothing but the truth. Please help me God. “They all tried to help me in some way or another, I was one of the lucky ones. I have always had people willing to help escape his grasps. He just won’t let me go.” The tears continued flowing down my face, Troy tried his best to brush them away but they just kept falling, 

        “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought if I disappeared into the night that maybe he wouldn’t have the motivation to find me again. I ran as far away as I could, all the way across the country to be exact — but he just keeps finding me.” I felt so helpless, like there was never going to be an escape from my abuser. 

          “All I can promise you is that from this day forward you will always be safe as my wife. I will do everything in my power to make sure that man will never come near you as long as he shall live.” There was such a darkness to his words, but I knew I believed him with every fiber of my being. I leaned in so I could cover my face with his chest, he is the only person in this world that I feel safe with.

          “I love you Troy, I am sorry that I ruined our wedding. . . “ today was supposed to be the most special day of our lives,  and I ruined it. I should have been honest, I should have trusted this beautiful man that he really could keep me safe.

           “ Sweet heart, you didn’t ruin anything. I am going to call Katie back up here, and I want to see you at the end of that altar in twenty minutes or I will personally carry you there myself. I am not leaving here today without my wife.” I have always loved the strength and confidence that emanated off of him — I have always hoped that with more time he would be able to rub off some of that onto me. I haven’t always been this weak, I used to believe that no matter what was thrown my way I could handle, and then I met Ian. 

. . . . . . 

          It was a particularly cold, rainy day, I had more than enough homework to keep me preoccupied but I couldn’t help myself but stand there and stare out the window. This morning My mother had tried to give me a ride to the school bus, however the driveway was nothing but pure mud — it didn’t take long for her Ford Bronco to sink in and become a temporary lawn ornament. There was no way she could miss work so she wasted no time with calling a tow truck to help pull her out.