~Michael~
I sat in the dark thinking about how much she's been through. I feel like jumping off a cliff. I feel like I should take a break from my job, change my name, go to another place. I pull out a piece of paper and start to write things.
"They told me you should sing a song
And happy with your feelin’ blue
I’m singing for so very long
Still crying, tell me what should I do.
All I know is
Tschada dada dada daa (Oh no)
Tschada dada dada daa
Tschada dada dada daa
Come on take me please
(Set me free)"
I cried and cried, hoping the hospital was gonna call and tell me she was awake. Teddy sat by my foot and nuzzled up under one of her shirts. "I miss her too buddy" I said patting him. I stopped writing and my head fell on the table.
I called Frank and told him what happened. "Bring me a bottle of Jack." I said hanging up. I sat and looked out the window at the glummy day. Soon later, the bell rang. Frank came in with flowers and 2 bottles of Jack.
"How are you holdin up?" he asked
"Really Frank?"
"Sorry." he said pouring me a glass. He handed it to me and I sank into the chair, drinking it quickly. "Take it easy Mike."
"I cant Frank! I just fuckin cant." I said tossing the glass on the table. "Dont turn into a drunk in distress." he said taking the bottle slowly from the table. "I needed a friend for support, not a damn lecture Frank." I said
"Sorry Mike. She'll be fine Im sure of it, but sitting here drinking yourself to death is not gonna get her better."
"Then what do you suggest?"
"Get back in the studio and create magic. Get back to your positive outlet. Ive seen the worst days from you, and you reflect that through your music. Leave it on the track."
"Whatever Frank! Im tired of hearing this shit! Get back in the studio Mike. Make another hit Mike. Go on tour Mike. Sing another song Mike. Dont you know Im tired dammit? Ive been workin all my damn life! I deserve a damn break!"
"Alright Mike. You can have a break, although you've had 3 months worth a break."
"Get your ass out of my house. You're fuckin fired." I shot at Frank
"Suit yourself kid." he said walking towards the door.
"Why dont you go buy yourself another sandwich with that last paycheck you fat blubbery bastard!" I said slamming the door in his face. Teddy walked up and followed me to the kitchen.
I grabbed the bottle of Jack and popped open the top. I drank it and felt instant relief. I walked up to the bedroom and fell on the bed. "Fuck you and all the haters!" I screamed. Teddy laid beside the bed and I laughed.
"See how the fuckin world is without Michael Jackson. If I cant have my wife then they cant have me!" I said taking another swig. The bottle was empty so I tossed it on the floor.
Teddy came to sniff it and I picked him up. "No Jack for Teddy. You get water." I said feeling woozy. "Ahh shit..." I said bumping my head on the headboard. "I could use a good fuck." I giggled. Teddy moved around on the bed, scrambling in different places.
"God dammit Teddy sit your ass down!" I yelled. He sat with his head down. "Damn....Im tired and horny." I said rubbing my head.
"The wholllle world expects so much from me but I cant even get what I want. Fuck it all." I said going to get another bottle of Jack.
I sat and drank, watching Teddy fall asleep and it continue to rain. I took off my sweatpants and walked around in my boxers. I looked through some pictures of my beautiful fiance and I.
"I miss you Lay Lay. Come home to me." I said kissing one of her photos. Her long black hair flowing in the wind, her smile so wide and bright, her beauty and energy, hungry for life. I took the picture and went back to the bed.
I laid down with the picture and Teddy right beside me. Until she comes back Ill never be right again. Im all messed up and razzled. I need her here with me. Until that time....
~TO BE CONTINUED~
