Violate

16. A Lonely World

VIOLET
I spend a lot of time crying now. I would end my life again if I could. I feel so guilty for what I did. My parents don't even look at me the same. I screwed it all up. Laurel's parents have decided to stay with their daughter. They seem like nice people. It's only a matter of time before they die too. The cops are investigating Laurel's death and urging anyone with information to come forward.

Constance is here a lot more. She made friends with Laurel's parents. I should stop referring to them as that. They have names. Ashley and Ben. I call him Benjamin to avoid confusion. Or Ben Two. He doesn't like me though. Neither does Ashley. Or Dr. Ben Harmon. I don't blame them. I am a terrible person. Tate is the only one who doesn't look at me like I'm a monster. I guess it's because he did bad things too.

Every so often Constance brings the baby over. Tate is always conveniently absent during those visits. He doesn't want to see how much the baby looks like him. My father doesn't either. Nora hovers around the kitchen and asks to hold the baby every so often. Occasionally my mom lets her. She never lets me hold him anymore. Not that I would want to. I see something in his eyes, a dark shadow lurking about. It makes me uneasy.

Moira offers me a tea. I take it from her withered hands. She looks in my eyes and tells me: "Don't mind them dear. Soon they'll forgive you like you forgave Tate."

"Thanks Moira," I say. I know she means it, too.

"Well, I should be going," Constance says in her southern drawl. "Heaven knows I wouldn't want to be late for my appointment."

"Is she gone?" Tate says, appearing from behind me. He kisses my neck gently. "Upstairs?"

I'm about to nod when I catch my mother's eye. She looks at me, disappointment radiating off her in waves. She hates me anyways, so why not have a little fun? I take Tate's hand and lead him up the stairs.