Dura

Part 1

I came home a year ago. Alex didn't. He was my best friend, the only one I could share everything with. Now I have no one but you, strangers on the internet. Sometimes it feels like I didn't return from that place either, at least not as myself. A part of me – perhaps my desire to live – stayed behind. I guess you could say I'm depressed.

It isn't until now I feel ready to tell anyone about what happened to us. We went through something so unfathomable that it's difficult for me to put it into words, but I'll do my best. Back when it happened – almost two years ago – my best friend and I were both studying anthropology in France and we were both avid cave explorers.

During summer break, we had explored the most famous cave systems in France and studied all of the well-known cave paintings and remains from the neolithic era. We both lived for this, so it was a no-brainer for both of us to spend our summer break doing the same kind of thing as we did at the university.

We had followed established guidelines, but the last week before we returned to our university town we decided to explore Regourdou in search of caves that hadn't been discovered yet. This was a bit irresponsible since none of us were experienced enough for such an undertaking, but we were both thrill-seekers and even though we didn't believe we would find anything the search itself was exciting enough for us to keep going.

However, we did find something. It was Alex who saw it first. He yelled at me from where he was doing his business:

"Hey, Lester, come check this out!"

"What is it, you want me to see you pee?"

I laughed at the thought of it.

"No, man, I think I found something..."

I got up from the rock I was sitting on and walked over to him.

"So... What did you find?"

"Look, look at that boulder next to the cliff... Do you see it?"

I did see it. There was a small entrance behind it.

"No way!" I said, but then I collected myself so that I wouldn't get too excited. "Do you think it's possible? I mean, do you think it might lead to a larger cave?"

"I don't know," Alex said. "There's only one way to find out, right?"

"I guess..." I said, feeling my heart rate increase. "It could be nothing... I find it hard to believe that no one would have discovered a cave system in this area. We aren't that far away from the main road."

"It's so small..." Alex said. "It's easy to imagine it could've been missed. Anyway, shut up and help me move this boulder."

We had to use all of our strength, and some of our equipment, to push it aside. We crouched down and looked inside the entrance. I expected it to be nothing more than a small recess, but it was deep.

"Hello!" Alex yelled into the hole in the cliff and the echo slowly faded away somewhere far inside the bedrock.

We debated what to do next, but the excitement in our voices made it clear we had already decided. The responsible thing to do would have been to report our findings and let professionals map out the cave, but we weren't going to just hand over a finding like this to someone else. Instead, we put on our gear.

We crawled our way inside of the cave. Had we been just a tad bit bigger we would never have fit, that was how small the opening was. I didn't suffer from claustrophobia – if I did I wouldn't have been a cave explorer – but I didn't enjoy small passages like this. The thought of getting stuck still made me cringe. I had read enough horror stories about cave explorers getting killed that way to do my best to avoid crawl spaces, but in this case, I made an exception.

Alex went in first and I followed close behind him. A few meters in, a cold wind reached us.

"Are you feeling this?" Alex said as he pushed his body through the small cave. "That's a cross-breeze!"

"Good," I said with some relief in my voice, "that means there's an opening somewhere further ahead."

The cold air coming from inside the cave smelled fresh. It was exactly what we needed after having spent the entire day under the scolding heat outside. A short while later, however, we began to freeze. I asked Alex if he knew how it could be so cold – it seemed way too cold to be explained by the airflow – but he was as clueless as me.

"Is it getting tighter or wider?" I asked. "I can't tell."

"I'm not sure either," Alex said.

We kept going. My body ached. In some places, it was so narrow that I thought I would have to break my ribs to get through. The cave went upward, forcing us to climb, then it went down until it turned sharply and continued to the south. The total absence of light except for our headlights felt suffocating. We came across a pitch, a steep section that we had to use our ropes to get down. We had never tried cave diving before, and I felt really stupid doing it now given how risky it was. A few more dangerous squeezes followed. The dust on the ground kept getting into my mouth. By now, I was exhausted.

"I think we should turn back," I said. "I'm getting too tired, and frankly I'm starting to worry a little bit. We've been here for more than an hour. Perhaps we should try again tomorrow..."

"Don't give up, Lester," Alex said. "It will be extremely difficult to go back the way we came, there's nowhere to turn around. Our best shot is to keep going and try to find the other opening."

I could hear fear in his otherwise confident voice, something that scared me just as much as our predicament. Just moments later, Alex spoke again:

"There's an opening ahead, it leads to a larger room... Just a few more meters."