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Life is a mega shit-hole ever since you left me Nono.
I know it, you know, and whoever the hell invented it knows it.
So why?
Because nothing is 100% guaranteed...
One moment you could be just heading to your boring-ass part-time job, selling doughnuts out of your dad's assistants minivan and then someone chokes on the free sample you gave them since you are a somewhat decent human being causing you to freak out and boom they die because you can't save them. Now you're charged with some stupid-ass negligence lawsuit or whatever the hell the world says you can be charged with (which could be anything at this rate) so you end up in jail forever. Your name tarnished. You only got that job so you could pay for college next year to become a marine biologist. As you see, the word sucks-ass. The world is a huge hard-pass, living on earth is a turnoff.
bad example?
I only gave that sucky example because it perfectly sums up a stupid handsome boy named Na Jaemin. A boy who attended NeoCity Cultural Academy and Boy's Home for the gifted with me, ex-class president, most likely to succeed, all-around sweetheart, dream boy, he was the star fencer on the school's fencing team but all he was to me was some nerdy kid in my robotics class, my lab partner. Jaemin excelled at everything which sadly I could never (I can't even dream about it). We never really talked; me and him. I guess we weren't being the biggest talkers (at least not to each other), and when he spoke to me it sounded expressionless, boring, and flat like how I imagine the doctor who has to tell sick patients the news "congrats you get to live not even two whole months but it is SUCH a long time and your whole family has to watch you die but hey, its fine, you are so lucky to be alive."
Let me catch you up on the details...
It was April 20th
I skipped school for the fifth time that week. Yes, I skipped the whole school week because I'm a pretty shitty person. I managed to sneak out of the dumb boy's home, there are like 101 of us assholes so the teachers can't keep up. Wouldn't matter if they did anyway- we're all orphans, it's not like we will get sent home or receive a haunting phone call from Mommy.
My day is always the same, Orchestra, Robotics, Humanities, Lunch, English, Trigonometry, and Physical Education. Every day it's always the same. I hate everyone at school, teachers and students. The teachers suck and only work at the boy's home so they can buy new sex toys to use and the students all hate me. I suck so I get it.
Nobody wants to wake up and their first-class be Orchestra. I don't know about you but I think that taking orchestra as soon as I wake up is going to lead me to go deaf since over half of the idiots I play with can't play one note.
Anyways back to my story,
I slowly made my way on that warm day to the park which is only about a half a mile from the academy so I walked. I needed the exercise anyway plus being an orphan alongside over a hundred other assholes, I don't get an allowance or even lunch money. I threw my backpack onto the ground in front of my feet, shuffling through a few of my things, a few books later I pull out a half-empty pack of cigarettes, and a lighter I stole from the upper compartment in my humanities teachers desk. I noticed the judge-mental eyes of parents as they saw me: a 16-year-old loser in his school uniform about to smoke his problems away.
I sat down on the wooden swing connected to the big cherry blossom tree. (I like to imagine it was once a cherry blossom, that tree hasn't seen leaves in a long time). My fingers gripped the ropes so tightly my knuckles turned beet red and my fingers, pale white, one hand holding the silver links and the other positioning a lit cigarette between my lips. No matter how bad it is for me it doesn't change the fact of how good it makes me feel. Maybe that's why most of my classmates lost their virginities to each other at like 14. (Strongly can't relate.)
I took long puffs from my cancer stick, letting the smoke fill my exasperated lungs. When I was younger I wanted to be a singer, what am I some k-pop idol? Those dreams (all my dreams.) left me after I realized orphans like me and Jaemin don't get dreams because nobody wants us.
As I smoked, Letting the smell burn out my thoughts peacefully I smiled all until the piercing scream from a child broke my focus. I opened my eyes seeing a maybe 1 or 2-year-old creature clinging to my leg. I'm not good with children so things went exactly like this.
I threw my cigarette onto the ground, rubbing my heel over it to put it out. I pried the thing off of me, wiping the things tears with my thumbs, "Hey kid~ Where's your mommy?" I softly asked but the little girl or maybe its a boy wouldn't stop crying. I can't tell. Pretty much all little monsters look the same at its age.
The things knees are scraped and bruised. I remember before I ended up in the home I used to always have busted and bruised knees, from skateboarding with my best friend that is.. with you.
"It's alright, how about you take me to your mommy?" I said this time in a much more caring manner because obviously if I want it away from me I have to find the parental unit. Wasn't because I cared. Obviously.
The kid pulled me off of the tree swing, it's small hand holding onto only two off my fingers, pulling me through the park, still sniffling, "M' four, not a baby~" the child said sticking its tongue out at me, letting go of my hand, running over, lunging at a male who's back is facing me, pulling on the sleeve of some dudes shirt. When that particular dude turned around I may have stopped breathing.
