Hearing the world

The secret

Phil's POV:

I wish I could tell him. Even if he stopped talking to me or kicked me out, he would still know. The thing is I have a massive crush on Dan. No. Im in love with Dan. But I could never tell him. Firstly, he would hate me. And secondly, he doesn't love me back so why bother? Why risk our friendship so I could be selfish and tell him how I feel? Although it would be nice to stop lying to him all the time.

Dan was currently in the living room. He'd been ill for the past couple of days and was now snuggled between a load of cushions on the sofa watching Breaking Bad. I walked in just as he dosed off to sleep. He looked utterly adorable, it literally hurt to stop myself from cuddling up to him.

I walked over to the television and muted it. Dan didn't like the dark so I kept it on for light. I then walked around to all the lamps and clicked them off, so the only light was coming from the TV and the tiny lights in the kitchen. I walked over to the dimly lit room and cleaned away the dishes. Then proceeded to get a glass of water and ice.

I creeped back to the living room so as not to wake the slumbering Dan on the sofa. I set my cup down and grabbed the blanket from behind the sofa and draped it over the brunette. He looked so cute, bundled up like a teddy bear.

It was getting to midnight now and I was very tired, so I began to walk back to my room when I heard a cute little snuffle come from Dan. I turned to see that he'd flipped over so that he now faced the wall, his back to me. I couldn't stop myself. I walked over to him and very gently leaned over. 'Goodnight bear.' And with a quick kiss on his pale forhead I ran back to my room to sleep.

***

Ive been lying here in my bed for about two hours now just thinking. Thinking. I couldn't stop. And I couldnt sleep. I just wanted a distraction from my thoughts. Thoughts of the future. Of YouTube. Dan. I couldn't help it. All my thoughts just circled back to him. No matter what.

I loved him so much it hurt. I loved his hair and the way it curled when he left it. I loved his smile and how he is always smiling. I loved the way he smiled at me. I loved the way he talked, and talked to me. The way he usually tells me anything. The different voice he uses with me when its just us in our flat. I loved the way he walked and always knocked on my door before entering, just to make sure.

I suddenly heard a little knock on my door and a few shuffles as Dan creeped into my room. He stopped just before the end of my bed. Slowly, I sat up and looked at the boy. 'Dan?'

He looked sad, like he'd been crying. A couple of sniffs came from him confirming my guess. I quickly got out of bed and ran to him and engulfed him into a giant hug. He seemed to appreciate this and relaxed into my chest.

Dan's POV:

I knocked on his door. This is it. This is the time I tell him im in love with him. That I have been since the first time we met. That I loved every little detail about him. I know he doesn't feel the same. That would be stupid. Who could love me? But I had to try. I had to tell him. Even if he kicked me out. And hated me. He would still know.

But I dont want him to hate me. I dont want to move out. To never see him again. If I cant be with him I want to at least be his friend. But no, it was too late now. I'd already knocked and walked in. And I'd already started to cry. Crap. Here goes.

'Dan?' Phil sounded worried. I sniffed and a couple tears came out. He heard and jumped out of bed to give me a massive hug. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his chest. Okay this is the perfect time.

'Phil?' Wow this is scary. I pulled away from him and took hold of his shoulders. I led him over to his bed and sat him down. I had planned to sit down too but I started to pace and mumble to myself. 'Okay, just... just listen to me yeah? And dont say anything until im done, please?' I fastened my pacing.

'Dan?' He got up and walked over to me. 'Dan stop pacing and tell me whats got you so worked up.' I sighed and stopped just in front of him. And looked him in the eye.

I simply said,
'You, you have me all worked up Phil. I cant stop thinking about you. I love you so much phil.'