I Remember the Feeling

Man! I Feel Like a Woman

Drinks were flowing and Queen was blaring, and the group were well on the way to intoxication. Harry was belting the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody with Sarah and Clare and dramatically dancing in the kitchen, while the rest of the boys were engrossed in conversation on the couch. Harry watched enviously as Clare twirled around amongst the three of them, her loose black dress hanging freely off her body. Harry's femininity was a massive part of him, and it wasn't hard to recognise that. However, Harry wasn't sure if those closest to him (aside from Louis) realised just how badly he wanted to be freely feminine.

"Harry, I gotta tell you something!" Adam announced with a slur as he stood up from his place on the couch, interrupting Harry's envious thoughts. "Actually, all of you can listen!"

"What's up Adam?" Harry laughed, acknowledging his wobbly stance and breaking away from the dancing girls.

"Right, let me just stand where you can all see me. Wow, this feels like Adam Prendergast: Live On Tour." He replied, stepping by the large window in the vision of everyone. Harry, Clare and Sarah each took a seat on the couch, sipping their drinks and giggling at Adam.

"This isn't good for my narcissism!" Harry half joked, "but I am a huge fan of you."

"The last few months have been ... indescribable. I never would have thought that I would be lucky enough to be granted an opportunity like this. You're a fucking awesome person, sweetest heart. Lovely voice, great dancer too. You look gorgeous holding rainbow flags. Wow, I'm more pissed than I thought." Adam rambled.

Harry's eyes gleamed at the attention and compliments, the alcohol partially responsible for the slight flush of his cheeks. The rest of the group laughed and agreed.

"You've changed my life, I tell you this all the time, but you honestly have, so thank you so much. Here's to plenty more amazing shows in the future. And a well deserved break." Adam finished, raising his glass.

The group exchanged clinks with one another and erupted in cheers and claps.

"You guys have just been absolutely incredible to me. I really couldn't have been luckier with this. So, thank you. I really love you all so much." Harry replied gratefully, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"We love you too." Sarah replied, speaking for the group and placing her hand on top of Harry's out of sincerity.

"I know you couldn't have done any of this without me. It's fine, it's fine, I'm sure you can repay me one day!" Antonio joked, prompting a roar of laughter out of the group.

"Right, let's put some Shania Twain on and keep dancing. I think it's that time of the night." Harry announced in a feminine voice as he stood up from the couch, pulling Louis along with him.

"Louuuuis." Harry drawled into Louis' ear softly as they approached the laptop to change the song. He brushed his kitten-like tongue over his ear, knowing exactly what it does to Louis.

"Yes, Haaaarrry?" He mimicked, trying not to let Harry's tongue have too much of an effect on him while six of their friends were in the same room as them.

"I'm in the mood to wear a dress." He whispered.

"Did you bring any of yours here?" Louis replied unfazed as he continued to search for Shania Twain on Harry's playlist.

"No, figured I wouldn't need them 'cos I only ever really wear them when it's just us at home. But tonight feels special for some reason." Harry mumbled with a pout.

"Ask to borrow that one of Clare's you like that she wore yesterday, she won't mind." Louis offered kindly, stroking Harry's back.

"They've only seen me in a dress once and it was in Jamaica and they probably thought I was joking around."

"Harry, literally no one here is going to be shocked. Lou's not here so it's a judgement free space." He reassured Harry, rolling his eyes at the mention of Lou. "Come on, I know you want to feel pretty. Prettier, I should say. Then we can dance to Man! I Feel Like A Woman." He added with a light chuckle.

"Okay, fine. I'll ask her." Harry giggled.

"Good girl." Louis said, kissing Harry's cheek. "I'm gonna fix myself another drink."

Harry's love for wearing dresses was nothing unusual to Louis. He remembers Harry at the ripe age of 17 looking through magazines and being envious of the women who walked the red carpet in designer gowns. Harry had always been cautious and slightly insecure about this big, (mostly) hidden part of himself. There were only a handful of people who had ever seen Harry in a dress. It wasn't until the Where We Are tour that even Niall, Liam and Zayn saw him in one. They had walked into Louis and Harry's hotel room after a show to find Harry lazing around in a silky slip dress. But, when they realised that Harry was in fact being completely serious, they were more supportive than ever and even asked to see his collection- complimenting him on his gorgeous taste.

"Hi Clare!" Harry said, approaching the couch and accidentally interrupting her conversation with Antonio and Harry. His excitement and nerves simultaneously twisting in his stomach.

"Hi Harry!" She replied with a wide smile. "Wanna sit down? We can scootch over."

"Sure, thanks. Um, I, just wanted to ask you something." Harry whispered with a gulp as he took a seat, his nervous smile refusing to subside.

"What's up?" She asked.

"Well. I was just wondering something. But, you can say no."

"Sure, go ahead."

"I just. Um."

"Do you want to go somewhere more private?" Clare offered with a whisper, acknowledging Harry's struggle to speak whatever urgent thought was on his mind.

"Yeah, maybe. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation." Harry said apologetically, his eyebrows furrowing as he bounced back up onto his feet, his drink perched in his hand, pink straw dancing around the glass.

Clare followed Harry to the bedroom, which was only a few steps away, but made all the difference in how comfortable Harry felt.

"So, um, well. I really liked that dress you wore yesterday." Harry stated, freezing up as the words left his mouth. A few seconds of silence passed.

"Are you hitting on me, Harry?" Clare joked, a tinge of confusion evident in her voice as she tried to piece where the conversation was going.

"Oh absolutely!" He sarcastically replied. "No, what I'm trying to say is that... I would really like to wear it. Would it be okay if I could? Um, like now? Sorry, this might be a weird thing for me to ask." Harry replied, looking down at the wooden floorboards.

If Clare was taken aback, she didn't show it in the slightest and instead smiled the widest smile Harry had ever seen on her. "I'll go down and get it for you right now. And don't ever apologise to me again. Every night you tell people that they are free to be whoever they want to be while they are with you, that applies to you too! Be whoever you want to be around us, Harry." Clare replied, wrapping her arms around his neck in a warm and supportive embrace.

Harry was positively speechless, and tightly wrapped his arms around her, letting their hug do all of the communicating.

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