What a life for Barson.

Chapter 12

Dedicated to Emily Mills as i start writing this in band class next to her...
_________________________

Authors Note- Seriously started writing this in my band class while playing sleigh ride so sorry
_______________________

Overview: So Rafael has chosen his fate *sob* and Olivia considers a transfer while Rafael may or may not get insitutionalized. Also Fin visits Rafael in the hospital and the Munch has an appearance.
_________________________

Olivia had left that day with a heavy head, knowing that he was probably better off alone.

The days went by without only ever a nurse or an orderly making their rounds seeing him. The door only ever opened 2 times a day and never was a word spoken to him. He had been on suicide watch for a week before the hospital's psychiatrist allowed for his - more like restraints but still- cuffs.

Several days past from the 15 day mark before the door opened and it wasn't for a nurse to annoy the crap out of him but it was a visitor.

The door opened slowly and Fin walked in, Rafael opening his eyes with a flutter. Rafael sat up clumsily and swept his unkept hair out of his face the best he could as Fin made his way over to the bed.

"Detective what brings you to my meager hell hole."

Rafael said with slight sarcasm as Fin, wore a look upon his face of pure disapair. Fin wore a light red sweater with a pair of dark jeans, signature gold chain and all.

"I'm skipping regualities Rafael" this was the first time Rafael had heard his first came come from Fin's mouth directly "You did something stupid with probably you shitty ego in mind and now Olivia has put in for a transfer."

Speechless Rafael knew that the circus media would rile up at this and when he was released due in a few days but he answered honestly. "I really don't see how this is my problem anymore."

"Anymore?" Fin started "What the hell did you do before!?"

"What I did is none of your concern, you and especially the rest of the squad don't need to be invol-"

"Involved?! Involved?! Our captain is hoping to transfer states because of you, so you tell me what's happened or I swear to god amigos que te molestaban cuando era niño con vete a la mierda tan mal que realmente mata a sí mismo."

The threat was clear and cut to the point, it was give it up or be stuck in this hell hole for another couple of weeks.

"Spanish? Tongue of the gángsteres that messed with me. And what happened was that all of this shit is too much, I'm literately so fucked up that my mother refuses to talk or about me."

The silenced was relished for the few seconds that it was there.

"Your not a victim but I'm saying this to you and you already know it. Your never that fucked up to try to kill yourself."

"I have always been this fucked up. In thought I could handle it until your squad started giving me the cases with children that I specifically requested not to have.. So don't give me this victim fuck. You all knew not to do it and you did it anyways. So it's not you asking the questions it's me asking why?"

"Why? Are you asking me why we pushed you to this or are you so hyped up on whatever is in that IV that your more ignorant than ever!?"

The now yelling match had caught attention of a nurse but hadn't gone far enough for her to take action.

"I was never ignorant." Barba became eerily quieter "Leave. Leave before we have a real problem between us."

"You think we don't already have a problem?"

With that Fin left, making sure to slam the door on the way out.

Sargent Olivia Benson's Office 5:47pm, December 21rd

Olivia sat at her office, humming lightly to keep the thoughts of oblivion from coming to her mind. She sat doing her final sheet of paper work of the day and for once she was caught up on everything else when a knock at the door made her look up towards it revealing a familiar face.

"Hope I'm not interrupting any important paper the big brother needs." Said Munch, giving a usually bright smile.

"Munch you little.." She set her pen down and motioned for John to enter the room, standing up to make her way to him. "How have you been John?" She hugged him warmly, relishing the memories of the old day's.

John hugged Liv back, his smile still glowing "I don't have a boot up the ass and I'm not dead yet so I'm pretty good. What about you Liv?"

"You know.. John, I've been better" she said with a small scowl, not towards him of course but just the situation.

"We all have times like those, and knowing you will get through this.. But I guess your wondering why I'm here."

"With you, I have no idea why you do anything. But that's sorta why I love you" she said with more or less of a shaky laugh.

"Olivia I came here because I heard you put in for a transfer. And a rumor of transferring states.. What's going on?"

John sat down on the edge of her desk, facing her as she sat back down in her chair.

"Sorry if I'm too brutally honest here but you know Barba?"

John nodded his head.

"We had a relationship. Things went south when he found out he had cancer and lied to me because he didn't now how it would affect me" taking a deep breath she continued "then things were fine- dare I say great but one day he flipped and he tried to kill himself. I found him in his bed, barely alive.. With a pair of gold rings in his hand. John I think this man was going to propose to be but now everything's gone.... Everything's done."

John had listened, knowing the feeling of when a loved one- or someone he loved refuses to want to live anymore.

"Liv. You love this man right?"

Olivia nodded cautiously

"I think so but-"

"By the way you talk about him and how I know you interact with people I know you do. He's different and you need to figure a way out to help him. Save him from himself."

"But like I said before.. Everything's done."

Rafael Barba's hospital room 9am, December 23rd

Rafael was hastily awaking by his door opening, it was rare anymore that anyone would open it but today was different.

2 large men entered the room followed by a nurse with a wheel chair. He failed to open his eyes immediately so he rubbed them wearily.

The men were dressed in white, and were quickly with what was happening, they moved to ether side of his bed. Grabbing his arms between the both of them lifted him easily, Rafael feeling exposed with only a hospital gown on. They set him in the wheel chair and quickly cuffed his wrists to the arms of the wheelchair and restrained his legs. Rafael tried to fight back but he was too late.
________________________