Theatre Stories!

Category 1: Dumb Humor

Dumb jokes made during rehearsal. Usually as blasphemous as they come. And a little insensitive at times.

And A Child Shall Lead
(This was an intense show. We had to cope somehow.)

Backstory:
One of the characters in our show is named Miroslav Weiss.

Another is named Erik Kosek.
(These weren't the names of actual people, but the show was based off of a true story)

Our director reads us poems from the actual time period that our show's based off of.

Director: Okay. It's storytime.
*opens book*
...wow, you guys are actually being quiet. This is...nice.
So, this is a poem by Miroslav Kosek.

Eva: WWWWAIT THEY GOT MARRIED?!

Director: *facepalm*

~

Backstory and history lesson: Transport notices were posted when the residents of concentration camps would be sent to Auschwitz. This was where they would, unfortunately, be killed. The lists specified who would be going, and each recipient was given an individual transport summons.

~Blocking~

Director: So wait, we need to figure out how he gets the transport summons if he's already onstage.

Eva: *thinks*

*reaches over to Gabriela* Ooop! There's something behind your ear!

Gabriela: SURPRISE, SURPRISE, YOU'RE GOING TO AUSCHWITZ-

~

**If you haven't seen the video of Kodak Black saying "lemme drive the boat" before promptly crashing said boat, this one's gonna be really weird.**

(Scene: Learning music. Edaline's teaching us.)

Pavel: *snickers* lemme drive da boat

Scissor: L e m m e d r i v e d a b o a t

Edaline: Scissor...

Scissor:

Edaline: You wanna start us off?

Scissor:

Scissor: Lemme drive da boat.

~

*Later, rehearsing in a gym with ropes and balance beams and rings and stuff*

Tim: Don't touch any of the equipment, it's the school's.

Scissor: *looking at the ropes*

Eva: Don't do it

Scissor: Imma do it

Eva: No-

Scissor: Lemme climb da rope

~

**Look up "I'm in the ghetto...ratatata" on YouTube for context. It's a TikTok**

Pavel: I swear you should say that during your monologue, it would make me so happy

**during rehearsal**

Eva: Home. It makes me think of sweet spring flowers. Before, when I lived there, it never seemed so warm and safe. But now, I look around, and see at once...

*glances at Pavel, who is offstage*

I'm in a ghetto.

*makes direct eye contact with our director*

Director: Don't-

Eva: RA TA TA TA~

~

Director: Okay so can we get in our spots for-

Eva: EVERYBODY! SPOTS, SPOTS, SPOTS, SPOTS SPOTS SPOTS

~

No one:

Pavel: And his name is....jOOHHHHN CENAAAA

*aggressively plays recorder*