The Vigilante's Handbook (Misfits #1)

Thirty One: They Dirtied Our Floors and Stepped on Our Nerd

The brief second of silence before they pushed their way into our apartment was the longest I had ever seen Mona and Valentine not at each other's throats. They dripped snowy mud from their winter boots across the stained carpet, all the way to the bed I had been sleeping in fifteen minutes ago. Mona almost stepped on Stitch when she took one of the blankets from his stash. Valentine claimed both of mine. Two pairs of shoes flew across the room as they kicked off their boots and settled onto the bed with expectant looks on their faces. 

There was still the usual anger that I expected from both of them flaring in their eyes, like they had walked through a snow covered forest to get to our door. But painted over the daggers they were staring were raised eyebrows and inclined heads. As if they were the ones who needed their questions answered. As if they hadn’t just charged into our new house without explanation, dirtied our floors, and stepped on our nerd. 

The whole time, Lucia and I could do nothing but stare. It was the same riveted stare of a bystander watching a magic trick that’s mildly disgusting but still, somehow, magical. We couldn’t look away even if we wanted to. 

Since Lucia was better at thinking on her feet than I was, I left it to her to give the answer to the unasked question Mona and Valentine were obviously waiting for. For the first time, Lucia didn’t deliver. She tried to stutter out something, but the situation was so bizarre that the words died on her lips.

Instead the first person to break the silence was Stitch, who was right in Mona’s splash zone. “You took my blankets and I would like it back.” Mona handed one back and tried to wrestle an extra from Valentine, thus breaking their nonviolent streak. “And nice to see you again. Mona. Valentine.” He nodded at each of them in turn like this was a regularly scheduled business meeting. 

“Did you set this up?” I asked, because it seemed like something he could have masterminded. 

He only shook his head and shrugged like he was as confused as the rest of us. 

Then the breakins began explaining themselves. “Don’t act like you are surprised to see us, Anna.” Valentine’s voice was as pleasant as ever. Even when she wasn’t screeching her French accent was sharp. Each word was pointed like she was already disappointed in me. “Not after you sent your Misfits to attack us last night.”

“At least we had the courtesy to attack you when no one was home, but you sent Cody and Foster to stage a coup. Did you get scared that you were losing? Thought all of us would bend when you sent the doofuses to scare us? Well it didn’t work.” There was something in Mona’s tone to suggest that whatever was accusing us of did work. 

“Maybe it worked on my brother and my best friend and even Diego, but that was Ariana’s fault. You planted her months ago. We trusted her and then she turned on us the second both of them showed up. Evan was a goner from the beginning.”

Lucia finally regained whatever little sense she had to begin with and started talking. “You’re going to have to explain yourself better than that. Cody and Foster were on night patrol. We don’t even know where you were staying and we don’t care to know. This stopped being a game a long time ago.”

Like a long dead monster rising from his tomb, Alek fell out of the other bed in our studio apartment with a loud crash, which caught the attention of everyone in the room. “Sorry, I didn’t know if I was supposed to be hearing this conversation.”

“Alek!”

“You’re safe!”

As a testament to how convoluted Mona and Valentine’s story was, even Alek who had lived with them for months looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I be safe?”