Because of You

Lauren

I am standing here in front of my bathroom mirror, searching deep into the eyes of a lost soul. One that used to be carefree and ambitious. A soul that used to enjoy going to parties and hanging out with friends. The soul of a girl that would love herself no matter how many times her mother and father tried to tear her down; a girl that wanted nothing more than to please her parents, until learning some people are devils in disguise. I sit here looking into these eyes trying to forget the night my life changed.

I, Lauren Elizabeth Ross, have decided to make some decisions for myself. No-one will ever tell me what to do anymore. Noone will ever try to tell me who to become, because I no longer give a fuck what anyone thinks of me. It's time for me to do me and that's going to start pissing some people off and I really don't care.

I tumble the box of hair dye over and over in my hands. Hot pink. Am I really gonna do this?

Hell yeah, I am.

This is step one in my "Fuck what everyone else thinks" plan. It's not even a permanent color but no one needs to know that. I take a deep breath as I tear open the package.

An hour later, as I am heading down the stairs on the way to my new life, I run into my mother. She's staring at the ceiling, at the chandelier, probably planning yet another remodel for the house or some other extravagant bullshit. Whatever.

As I hit the last step, she finally glances over at me and gasps. Yes! Just the reaction I was hoping for, now if I know my mother she's about five seconds from being pissed...five...She looks at my hair and then at my face and back to my hair.... four...She takes a step closer to me...three...Her hand trembles from rage as she brings it up to touch my hair...two... her hand drops back to her side at the last second...one...She opens her mouth...ACTION...

"Lauren Elizabeth, just what on earth have you done to your beautiful hair!" she screeches. I wince a little due to my eardrums feeling like they are going to burst from her high pitched annoying fake ass voice.

"I dyed it, Mother. Does it look ok?" I ask her with a cheeky grin. Her eyes narrow and I swear if it was possible for steam to come from someone's ears, hers would be for sure steaming right now.

"Ok? Does it look ok? Have you lost your mind?! You turn around and get back up there and take that awful mess out of your hair, Lauren! Right, this minute! You will not embarrass your father and me anymore!" She heaves a breath as if this is just going to make her croak over or something. Geez, this is the shit that pisses me off! I am 20 years old about to be 21 and not a child anymore. I am a grown fucking adult! How dare they think that I have to do as they tell me when I am going to fucking be living seven hours from this shit hole! Well, fuck them! I ain't doing it. I square my shoulders and look her straight in the eyes and fight to keep my body from trembling and my voice from wavering as I speak clearly.

"No, Mother, I will not take it out of my hair. I happen to like it this way and it's staying as it is! I am not a child anymore; I make my own decisions. You and dad are done controlling my life. I stuck around here just because you and dad wanted me to but I am done listening to you two morons." I take a breath, hike my bag onto my shoulder and continue towards the door.

"You don't care about me. I am just a fucking chess piece for you to move around however you like and it's over with. I am going to be making my own decisions about myself and my life from now on like I said so you are going to have to get over it." Her next words make me pause.

"You making your own decisions is what got you into your last situation!" She spits the words at me like venom from a snake. Of course, that is what my mother is, a snake. She only cares about image and money just like my father. Neither one of them care about me but that's ok I don't need them! I am going to make my own way. I look over my shoulder at my bitch of a mother and fight hard not to cry at her words.