Because of You

Lauren

My hands throbbing and it's time for me to call it a night. I ask Felix where I can find Drew but before he can answer a guy across the bar yells at me.
   "Hey sexy, how about you come over here and let me see that fine ass of yours?!" This dude has to be wasted or is crazy. Hell he's probably both and I don't have time to deal with this shit.
  I turn and ignore the dude but he's not having it. I leaned against the counter and before I know it the dude has his hands on me and pulling my hair.
  "LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH IM TALKING TO YOU!" He is spitting and yelling in my face.
His eyes are bloodshot and the stench coming from his breath is making me sick. I'm struggling to get him to release my hair. His grip is so tight I feel strands of it being plucked from my head. I try to turn to Felix but before I know it the guy is releasing me and i'm being picked up and placed away from the chaos. Everything slows down and I can barely hear the screams coming from Felix.
  "Levi! Get Drew now!" Felix yells across the bar. Levi takes off shoving people out of the and Felix has the guy around the neck. The dude looks like he regrets even saying a word to me. I start to shake, it's all coming back. The look in his eyes is the same look I use to see every time I closed my eyes. I can't control my breathing. I'm under the bar shaking. My hands are around my knees and the voices are coming back to me. Drew is in the room now and he is screaming but I can't see where he is. He sounds furious and that scares me more. Could he be mad at me? Will I get the blame like I do with everything else?
  "You sorry motherfucking piece of shit! Who the Fuck do you think you are?! You come in my club and put your hands on my girl, get your ass out of here and I will be pressing charges!" Drews screaming stops but I'm still too scared to move. I can hear him talking to Felix but I can't hear what they are talking about it. I hear my name. They are talking about me. If I just stay here maybe they won't find me. Maybe I can hide like I use to and delay the inevitable.
  "Lauren? He's gone you can come out." Drew is looking at me with his hand reached out but I refuse to move. My body won't move. He reaches down and touches my hand but I don't see him. I see Brett. I pull away and try to hide from the man who has ruined my entire life. If it wasn't for that hideous monster i would be fine with a guy who actually cares.
  "Lauren whats wrong? Come on please he's gone I promise." Drew talks soft but its still not him. He reaches down and picks me up. He is so gentle but I still  keep my eyes closed. He takes me to his office. I opened my eyes a crack and can see Felix and Levi following. Drew kicks the door shut and sits me on the couch. 
  No one knows. No one can know. Why me? Why can't I be normal like every other girl is. My past haunts me and i'll never get away from it. I wanna go home and be alone but I know Drew has questions, questions I can't answer or he will be in the same place I am. I refuse to let anyone feel the pain that I have dealt with. The pain of four years that chases me everywhere I go.
  "Lauren your ok. Open your eyes beautiful. Come on you can trust me." I want to open my eyes. I want to be able to let someone save me. Drew is such an amazing guy and I want to trust him but the pain will always be there deep in my soul. The ugly truth will push him away. Everyone else has pushed me away and it won't change with one person. 
  "I wanna go home. Please just take me home." My voice cracks and I know he hears it. I can barely keep my tears at bay. My eyes are watery and any second the tears will fall. I have tried so hard for so many years to keep my pain invisible.
  "Ok, let me get your jacket and I'll take you home." as soon as he leaves, I bolt to the bathroom so I can dry my eyes before he sees what a mess I really am. I touch the scars that will never disappear. The scars that I can see everytime i look in the mirror. The faint pain i feel as I remember the day that I gave up hope of living. 
  "Lauren?" Drew says my name and I jump. He's not Brett. I have to repeat this to myself because those eyes are so similar.Why can a man so gentle and sweet have eyes of a monster. I think that is what scares me.
  "In the bathroom. Give me a second." No matter how many times I wash my face, my eyes are still red. As long as he doesn't ask I won't break down again.
  I walk out of the bathroom with my hands in my pockets. Drews sitting on the couch, his head is bent and his hands are clasped together. He looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. My situation isn't going to help him with that. For the rest of my life, I will be constantly waiting for the next bad thing to happen. He needs no part of this so it's time for me to take the first step and pull myself away.
"Hey" I say softly. Drew looks up at me. As soon as our eyes connect, I get this strong feeling of reassurance. Like everything will be ok one day. I know that is stupid. No matter what happens, nothing will ever be ok. It hasn't been ok since I was 16. Drew is on his feet before I can take another step. I really wish there wasn't such a strong pull between us two. He has his arms around me and squeezing me tight. This is not a good idea but there's no way I can let this feeling go.
"Are you ready to go? I told Felix to pull the truck up. It's warm and waiting."  I wrap my hands around him and just stand there. I just want this feeling to last forever. It feels like forever before I pull away and take his hand.
"I think I am now." The smile on my face tells me there may just be hope. One day the pain will go away and if it takes years I'm fine with that.
Felix is standing by the truck waiting for us when we walk out the door. Drew has his hand on my shoulder. The night air is chilly but his arm seems to warm my whole body. If this is how it feels to be with Drew I hope to never lose him. Even if its a friendship we have.
"Thanks man, I've got it from here. If you guys want to shut down early feel free. It's been a long night and I think an early night would do us all some justice." Felix shakes his head and laughs. How can a bad night turn so good? I hop up in the truck and buckle up. Drew shuts my door, walks over to Felix hands him something then hops in the driver's seat.
" Wanna go to the Pizzeria? I'm kinda hungry and could use a huge pizza. If you don't want to that's fine. I can still take you home." Drew has my hand on the console, it's warm in the truck, and right on cue my stomach grumbles.
"I'm guessing the answer is yes." We both start laughing as he drives down the road. About 10 minutes later we pull into a nice place. I thought we were just going to a simple place, this place looks pricey.
"Drew, I thought you wanted pizza? This place has to be crazy expensive" He laughs at me but I'm being serious. This place looks expensive. We walk in the doors and I was right it is pricey. This is crazy I can't afford this. Maybe I will just get a glass of water and he won't think anything about it. Not many people are in the place which isn't a surprise with how it looks.
"Stop. It may look crazy expensive but it's not. Plus I'm buying so no worries. I'm the one who asked you to come. Even if it did cost a lot it wouldn't matter. I'm not that kind of guy. My treat like I said. The owners know me, we do a little business together. So do you want to watch the pizza process or do you want to sit at a table and wait?" What do I say to that? Has this guy hit his head or are there really guys out there that treat women with respect?
" I...umm...you know what? I'm going to find the restroom and I'll meet you at the bar. I just need a minute." Before I can walk off Drew pulls me into his arms and kisses me. I'm frozen in place. Goosebumps rise on my arms. It happens so fast I don't have a chance to react before he pulls back, Our lips are still inches apart. What just happened?
I turn and walk off before I say something stupid to ruin the moment. Drew just kissed me. We barely know each other but he kissed me. Mind blowingly kissed me. Get it together Lauren he's waiting for you. Does this mean he likes me?