at last (h.s. + l.t.) (boyxboy)

16. Maybe

"I love you." Harry placed a kiss onto Louis' forehead and pulled him closer on the couch.

"I love you." He smiles, his eyes lighting up from the Christmas lights on the tree across the room.

Harry hums and Louis runs his fingers through his hair. Its three a.m. and all they've managed to do for the day was drink coffee and listen to a playlist on 8tracks.

"H, how're you feeling?" Louis whispers, just audible to Harry but soft enough for the walls to mistake it for the wind. Damn these walls and their ability to hold so much resentment.

"I don't think that I feel so bad anymore. I don't know. Im great with you." He speaks slowly, the bottom of his lips quivering with every deluded word.

"I just want to exist and that's enough for me right now." He says honestly. "I know you don't know what happened, I just-" He sighs.

"I don't want pitted, or something. I have a hard time with words. Sorry.."

"Try again, yeah?" Louis tells him.

"Yeah. Its not that I don't want you to know or anything, but, its just hard you know?"

"Yeah. Tell me when you are ready." The older boyfriend says truthfully, he doesn't want to rush Harry into anything and by the way he's going about it, it must be still effecting him.

"I just need a good cry." He laughs, making a joke about his state.

"So go, cry. I'll cry with you." Louis speaks seriously, he needs a good cry too.

"Okay," Harry speaks. And within seconds he lets down his shield and completely crumbles in front of the older boy. Hes a blubbering mess, hot tears running fast from his bloodshot eyes down his red tinged cheeks.

Harry cries from three thirteen a.m. to seven thirty a.m. because he loves someone so much, and no matter what, the only thing he wants to tell him is the thing he cant. He physically can't. And Louis cries too, not as hard or as serious or anything, but because he cant seem to be enough for the curly haired boy. He will try and try and try until the end of time, but the truth is he wont ever be able to compare to something that great. And it makes him sad.