The Emerald Thief - Merlin BBC [1]

Chapter 21: Forgive and Forget

Returning to camp, the atmosphere was very awkward. Especially for Leon and me, the bruise on his head constantly reminds me of my regret. Arthur requested the group leaves me alone, all the time for talking saved for later. I was grateful, being so tired, I needed the rest. Most of the night was quiet after that, with no one wanting to exchange words.

Merlin demanded I sleep and rest up for other health reasons besides my leg and shoulder. I wasn't reluctant, needing sleep desperately. I won't deny that I used it as an excuse to avoid conversation. Expecting a protest, Arthur requested I look after myself before making things right with the others. I didn't have to be told a third time, falling into a deep slumber.

I mentally made a list of all the people I needed to apologise to. Leon, I need to make things right with the poor man, his head looking worse for wear as the night drags on.

Gwaine, as he's helped me get through so much and finally started to open up to me, only for my stupid arse to chuck him aside. That's not what a good friend should do. The same argument goes for Gwen too.

Percival, as I bailed on his birthday.

Merlin, as he tried so hard to help me with my wounds. All I did was cause him more trouble than he needed by putting myself in more harm's way.

I enjoy having more time to evaluate what I'm going to say to the others. I'm relieved to know Arthur was the milestone, the hardest part of the journey. My next obstacle will be the knights, followed by Agravaine.

I don't like him. I never have, but perhaps if he sees me in this new light, he'll change. Maybe I haven't seen who he truly is yet. I don't want us to have any trouble with one another. I want to get to know him as an uncle if possible. We should at least get along, for Arthur's sake.

We ride into Camelot, my head feeling worse for wear with the sleep I had. Iseldir's magic has not been able to heal my emotional strain over the last couple of days. I ride on the back of Arthur's horse, lump against his back as I struggle to stay awake.

I barely realise we're in the square as Percival helps me off the horse. Merlin takes over from there, leading me to Gaius, I imagine. Although I'm not injured anymore, Arthur orders Merlin to see I'm treated. And although I can walk on my own, Merlin still assists me with a stumble or two.

I still feel utterly horrible, even more so now that I'm back in the walls of Camelot. I want to make up for the trouble I've caused, especially to Arthur. Even though he's forgiven, I still don't want my needs to be put before his, already hating myself enough. Regret boils as we venture further into the stone structure.

Gaius is swift in his check over, using his years of training to make sure I am fine. I sit on the stool silently as he works, also feeling bad for not having come to see Gaius before I left.

"You're dehydrated, more tired than anything", Gaius observes. He shifts my leg out the way to get a better look at the wound. "Powerful magic must have been used. I'd say you're fortunate after Merlin's description of the prior wound."

"Thank you, Gaius," Arthur offers, hand on my shoulder. "I'll be back later. I owe Agravaine an explanation...but don't worry. You get some rest, Edythe."

I nod, giving Arthur a soft smile as he departs from the room. Gaius finishes his fussing, wrapping up the wounds in new cloth. Though it's unnecessary, I'm sure it's just to stop infection. I sway with his movements, no strength in me at all. I can't tell if it's the physical strain of things affecting me or the emotional.

"I'm sorry, Gaius", I apologise, voice low as the physician begins to clear his workspace.

He pauses with a frown. "What for?"