poems for peace

reflections

i feel trapped in my own body.

i was gifted with a nice figure,
a nice name,
so why do i hate it so much?

why do i still flinch when i hear "she,"
despite going through thirteen years
with that title?

why do i feel
like im tricking myself somedays,
like im truly not the identity
that i chose for myself?

why do i cringe
at the sight of my chest,
when i know i could
stand up for myself and fix it?

why do i feel so needy
when i ask others to respect
the pronouns i gave myself-
yet i still can't bring myself
to truly become the identity
that i've chosen?

why do i grow embarrassed
when someone uses my pronouns,
as if it's something i should be hiding?

i fear what others will think,
i fear standing out,
so i hide in this shell
that will truly never be me

i hide in this name i was given,
in the pronouns i was given as well,
more afraid of being myself
than living a false reality