𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 // original story

chtpr 1

"i tried to scream but my head was underwater" - billie eilish

evan, my best friend also the best red head on the planet. me, an oblivious, naive, idiot. megan, a tough nut with a super secret soft side. and ophelia, the love of my heart breaking, lonesome, little life. and by little i don't mean short, i don't mean anything.

hi, i'm rylie, and no my head isn't in the clouds. well maybe. the point? i think way too much, WAY too much. like, it's unhealthy, so they gave it a funny name: anxiety. weird shit amirite?

"ry!"

my mom is calling me down stairs.

"yes boss lady" i march downstairs like a soldier.

"don't forget you have your doctor appointment today for finding out about counseling, i'll meet you at the office. i get off work at 5:30"

"sir yes sir" i say with my hand on my forehead ready to salute.

it's saturday, and i have zero plans. none, nada, zilch, negative. it's weird not having anyone in the house anymore. trev and byron are away at college, big kids now i guess. my brothers, in case you couldn't put that together, you dingus.

guess i'll just invite megan and evan over.

i grab my phone from my pocket and slide it open and facetime evan.

he answers, "dude, it's 7:16 AM go back to sleep"

"no, come over and i'll let you sleep"

"uh huh, sure you will, because that's always an option with you" he bites back sarcastically.

"evan pleeeeaasseee" i give big puppy dog eyes.

"those never work on me, and i'm only coming because i love you" he smirks and rolls out of bed. "you know, if i didn't love you, i'd hate you."

"uh huh, funny, now hurry, i need my ginger to come keep me safe" i pout.

"rylie, goodbye" he hangs up.

"rude, didn't even say i love you" i put my phone down on the kitchen island and run back upstairs to my room to get blankets for the living room.

incoming call from megan 💚

ah my meggy bear. she's my second best friend but i've known evan longer than her.

i answer, "meggy! how is my bear!"

"been better, i'm so hungover from last night at ty's"

"oh babe, you look terrible" she's got mascara smeared under her baby blues and her hair is a wreck.

"thanks ry"

"where's tyler now?" i ask

"oh he left me a couple hours ago, around 4ish"

"what the fuck, why?"

"said i was being dramatic and he wasn't gonna put up with my shit today i guess, i'm not trippin" i could hear the hurt in her voice though she tried to hide it.

tyler is her douche bag "boyfriend". he's really just for show, megan hates his guts but her parents and his parents work together and set them up freshman year.

"megan, you really need to talk to your parents and then dump his ass"

"i'll think about it but probably not, by the way i'm coming over, see you soon, peanut, love you bunches" she ends the call.

they arrive and i grab more blankets and pillows and make a small breakfast for the three of us, just some toast and eggs. we just sit in each other's company for a little bit before discussing plans. it's christmas break and we have three weeks of school off.

"so what are we doing for christmas?" i ask.

"well considering it's literally in a week, i don't think there's not much to do other than open presents together and enjoy the atmosphere" megan suggests.

"yeah but what if, megan's idea wasn't lame? and instead she suggested we go to sunny pismo beach?"

"ah, i like your thinking megan" i say.

"you guys are so mean to me. can we just stay home together this year?"

"okay fine mom" i bite.

"i think megan is lame" evan adds.

"okay but hear me out, we stay home and enjoy the nice fireplace at ry's and open gifts and drink hot coco and eat ry's moms cookies" her suggestion actually doesn't sound half bad.

"ok i like it" evan agrees to the plan.

christmas is in 7 days and i have yet to get either of them a gift. normally i'm on top of the gift giving and purchasing and all that jazz but this year, i'm just distracted is all.

megan loves sports and drinking and us and nail polish, seriously her nails are never not painted, also she's in love with hair accessories right now. so scrunchies and a new nail color it is for bear. evan likes rick and morty and vans and reese's, he's easy to shop for. i'll get him a new r&m key chain for his keys and some reese's. so that settles that.

the clock strikes 4:00 and it's time to get ready for my doctors appointment at 5:00. megan leaves but evan stays because he decides to spend the night and come with me to my appointment.

i get dressed in an orange long sleeve and jeans, slip on a black sweater and my blue old skool checkered vans and we head out, stopping for coffee on the way.

mom calls me at 5:15 "you better be on your way," she starts with.

"i am mom, don't worry"

we arrive at the office. i check in at the window. my name is called, typical doctors office procedure.

"uh, rylie hilton?" they call.

"that's me" and i follow the nurse to where she checks my vitals and height and weight, then guides me to my room.