𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬 | Jikook

Prologue

"𝙾𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚢; 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚛, 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚜? 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚞𝚙? 𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚟𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜? 𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎. 𝚂𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚗, 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚞𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚜. 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚠, 𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕. "

-𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚊 𝙰𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚖

***
Jimin

He breathed out. And for a while, he didn't think he could breathe back in again.

The great thing about being habitually accustomed to the adulterated void from within yourself, and this was meant sincerely and without any underlying irony, was the ability to wholly and quite altogether disappear from your current reality. Jimin had remarkably gained mastery in this particular art of essentially losing consciousness, of inherently slipping into a coma at any time of day without warning signs: of, in essence, zoning out. The twenty-two year old was so aware, and yet undeniably oblivious to this, and the part of him that really gave a care in the world remained ignorant of everything because in the grand scheme of things, it evidently didn't really matter.
Take the rain, in millions, which stuck to and slid down his sickly cold cheek. It's the sort of weather that washes everything anew, and one could say that it brings everything and everyone together. And in that joyful congregation of water and air is the sense of being alive, that from such beautiful simplicity comes everything we love, the flora, the fauna, the soul and essence of nature which is just who we are. Jimin knew this. He knew just how precious life was.

Again. Life, lock, stock and barrel, is within itself. The possibilities of each individual routes, outcomes, to success or failure were unfairly vast, endless, and perhaps once upon a time Jimin found such a thing extraordinary when he could see his own life through a warmer filter. He once thought, believed, that certain events happened for a reason, that people were how they would be and that this, being the present time, should be widely accepted. That this, everything, was just how it was, how it all should be.

Wrong.

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

One moment. One, singular moment. That, that, was finally the time when Jimin found himself perceiving the world to being what it actually, maybe was. Any person, any being in fact, has a point of no return; a level where once is over extended and once is over strained, prevents them from being ignorant and unwise. Because, that one singular moment becomes enough to invert every judgment, and their faith from within them, and so demands the logical part of them to see what they couldn't before. He had met failure, fiercely and powerfully. He had failed.

Jimin didn't care. He couldn't. How could caring so much, lead to this kind of despair? It was all ceaseless, the one-sided conversation inside of his head, it just never seemed to end. He had lost the war with his mind, with his thoughts, however his enemy hadn't retreated. Instead, Jimin remained beaten to the ground, never with a chance to hope to even stand to his raw and tender feet because never for a second had he come across a moment of solitude. He remained as jaded as ever, and that was how it would be.