Long Way Home (Commentary Crew)

Pinky-Linked (Alex)

*Alex's POV*

TW for dissection I guess if that's gonna bother you

"Niall, look at this!" I exclaimed, pushing my phone to Niall under the tables in the science room. Some stupid meme that most likely wasn't funny to anyone but the two of us. He let out a burst of a laugh, quickly bringing his hand to his mouth in shock when he realized that he just laughed out loud in the middle of class. 

The teacher glared at us and told us to "put the phone away and do the lab for once". We figured it was bullshit but decided to oblige nonetheless. We really couldn't afford to get another bad grade in this class, and the lab at the very least looked semi-interesting. Unfortunately, the one semi-interesting lab was also more than semi-disgusting and just looking at the pig fetus on the table made want to gag or throw up or anything in that realm.

Niall shot me a look and we both slipped the gloves on, giving up our last hopes of sanity as we picked up the tools. Niall looked surprisingly more confident than I did, considering he'd usually cry over a broken nail. I figured that Niall's lack of flinching at gore was just another weird quirk about him and decided to proceed with the experiment.

"Okay," I told him, my voice coming out nervous. "I'll just read the instructions and you can do all the...stuff, yeah?"

Niall just laughed and handed me the scalpel. I was annoyed at first because really, he could tell I didn't want to to this, but I was almost glad when I saw the job that he was taking: holding the pic taught and steady, more so than the rubber bands on the feet could. I would do everything in my power not to touch that foul-smelling demon spawn. It was scaring me because of the way it looked and upsetting me because it was dead and I felt rude insulting a dead animal and it all just made me want to cry.

I started to cut down the stomach and shrieked as soon as I felt the scalpel push in. Everyone turned to stare at me, including the older boy who was here to help the struggling kids in the class. He took bio his freshman year like I am and was the teacher's favorite, perfect student. In other words, definitely not me and Niall. At all. The only reasons the two of us had never talked to him was we somehow both managed to pull out a B or C on the tests, which counted for most of our grade anyways. It wasn't that we didn't know how to do the work, we just didn't want to. 

And he was walking towards our table. I started to cut down the pig. I didn't need help, I didn't want help, and I didn't ask for help. I was fine and capable and--

"Careful," he told me once he had finally reached our table. "You're gonna cut too deep." His hands were on my arms, stopping me from cutting any more. My face flared up and god, I needed to stop swooning over anyone who even looked my way.

"You've got to make sure you get through the skin without cutting too much below it," he instructed, but I was barely even listening at this point. It wasn't my fault he was somehow distracting me from himself.

"Okay," I mumbled, unsure. My brief swoon session had sadly been interrupted by the fact that I was now faced with the dissection of the pig and I was back to wanting to cry. I placed to scalpel back down and started cutting a little less hard, actually watching what I was doing this time. I had no idea how Niall or smart boy were both seemingly unfazed by the procedure but I was glad. I needed some mentally stable people to help me get through this thing.

Everything got worse, and better, once the stomach was opened. On one hand, the organs were weirdly interesting. I had only ever seen a drawn diagram of organs, I'd never even seen an actual picture of them. There was something to be said for them all just being laid out in front of us like that. But also they were, unsurprisingly, absolutely disgusting. I wanted to retch but I also wanted to see more of them and I ended up just sitting and staring, having no idea of what to do.

"What are the instructions?" I pushed out finally, feeling Niall and the boy's eyes boring into the back of my skull, expecting me to do something.

"Now we just try and find all the organs I guess and fill out the checklist," Niall informed me. "Like we're supposed to know what the fuck a pancreas looks like."

I laughed, and the teacher yelled at Niall for his bad language.

"I got to go," the boy told us, ruffling my hair for some stupid reason. I felt rage bubble in my gut but a blush rise to my cheeks and now I wanted to cry for a whole different reason.

"I'm not a fucking dog," I mumbled under my breath, not expecting anyone to actually hear it.

"I know,"

He patted my head this time.

"The pancreas looks like a sweet potato, by the way."

And he sauntered off, all blonde curly hair and asshole energy. Part of me was tempted to pick up the gross-yet-fascinating fetal pig and chuck it across the room at him, but I refrained. I didn't like being babied, unless I was sad and it was Will or Niall. I didn't need help and I didn't like the way everyone always tried to rush to my aid at the smallest thing. I knew it wasn't the boy's intention and he most likely didn't even know my circumstances, but still, it pissed me off. Everyone saw me as Alex who tried to kill himself, Alex who spent six months in a coma, Alex who wasn't okay and able to take care of himself, Alex who was never okay no matter how many times he told you he was. Because, of course, I wasn't even able to decide my emotions on my own. It was always "are you sure?" or "you don't look fine" no matter how much time passed.

The bell rang and I looked up from where I had been glaring at the desk. I saw that Niall had almost completed the entire checklist, which was surprising considering the fact that we started the assignment super late. I began to clean up the experiment according to the teacher's instructions, something that we should've done before the bell had rung but neither of us cared. We had lunch next period, anyways, not that I had much of an appetite.

I was grateful for Niall cranking out the experiment in the quarter-hour that we had without asking any questions about why I had become distant. That's what I liked about Niall, he rarely asked questions that he knew I didn't want to answer and when he did he never expected one. He either already knew what was going on or he figured it wasn't his to know, but no matter the situation he was always there for me. He still let me joke and have fun, and he let me be sad without freaking out.

"Thank you," I told him as we walked out of the classroom with linked pinkies. We used to hold hands instead when we were younger, but it had developed to simply linking pinkies when we were in public once we got older. We got sick of everyone assuming we were together, although simply changing the way we held hands didn't help much. We weren't, and we were never going to be. We meant to much to each other and had been friends for too long.

Niall just smiled at me and nodded. We both knew that I meant so much more than thank you for just the experiment, but in typical Niall fashion, he didn't acknowledge it. I smiled as well. 

A/N: Chapters are coming out so fast right now because I'm on Thanksgiving break, but fair warning it wont be like that for long. Suggestions and criticism are always welcome, please vote and comment xx.