𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 | 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙗𝙮

¹³

i was scared, and im sorry - the wonder years.

☆

sam layed his head back against the edge of the couch, crying himself sick, yet again. he knew he was a wreck, he couldn't remember rhe last time he had showered, he couldn't bring himself to care, and he only ate when absolutely necessary to. it's not like he felt like living anyways.

he wasn't suicidal, he told himself, he just didn't have motivation to keep going. he wonder why, that's what always came up in his mind, why. why does it have to be this way? he cursed god, if there even was one. he'd curse satan but his lack of beliefs led him to nothing there.

he loved colby. how his body ached for colby. how his mind and heart ached, too. he loved him. but the hope faded as he heard Jake's voice every night through the thin walls.

it made sam feel sick. as selfish as it sounds he hated how jake got under colbys skin so quickly. with sam out of the way, jake could make colby happy in was he only dreamed for.

but that was never the case.

as the nights went on, as the kisses progressed, jake was not sam. colby wanted sam. the once duo loved jake as a brother almost, but jake was in dangerous territory when going to bed, cuddling colby every night.

'one day,' colby thought to himself, 'one day I'll tell jake'. that day wasn't today but it would definitely come sooner than colby thought.

thoughts of the other filled their heads, both wanting nothing more than to be those boy at the warehouse again. kissing and cuddling into eachother under the full moon as if it was the apocalypse and all they needed to survive were eachother, but alas the sun rose again and the days continued, passed by as that night was silently agreed to never be spoken of.

that's the night they fell in love.

two scared teenage boys who fell in love at the wrong time.

☆

jake stayed at colby's more, so much so that colby found himself buying for two, food was kept in the fridge and jake always bought flowers every week for the vase in colby's kitchen.

sam was quite the opposite, as one would imagine, his refrigerator empty and his apartment dull.

colby's losing himself and nobody seems to notice though. he feels like a ghost.

wishing he was one.

another day, jake came into his apartment, practically living there, with two bags, one containing sushi from colby's favorite place and the other containing this weeks flowers. a dozen white roses.

colby couldn't help himself when he ran to his bathroom, not wanting to break down in front of the man taking care of him, he felt anger and sadness wash over him.

sam's favorite flowers.

but nonetheless he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and then a pair of lanky arms wrap around him as he sobbed into the taller boys chest.

"I.. I love him so much, jake."

colby had never said that out loud, to afraid of the consequences, but look at where not saying got him.

"I know, I know," the brown eyed man said, as he began rubbing circles into colbys back, along with a few soothing shushes.

"maybe you should tell him."

"w-what?"

"I've seen him, colby. he needs you. and I see you. you need him. I wanted to fill that void, and I wanted you to fill mine but we both know it's not what we need."

colby shook his head, understanding and pulling him in tighter, before letting go.

"you'll always be my baby bubba." colby said, reminiscing to jake and reminding him of his last few words exchanged inside the traphouse to eachother, earning him a chuckle.

"now go get him."

and with that colby found himself outside of the door, knocking lighty until hearing the lock click open.

☆

hey guys love you

this was one of my favorite chapters so far.

how we feeling about the story so far?

be safe loves