It's Simply That I've Always Loved You

Chapter 2

The two days between their conversation and Renji rolling out of bed as soon as the sun rises are uneventful enough, serving only to frustrate him and make the time feel as though it is passing painfully slower than usual. When he’d woken up the morning after, part of him wondered if it was part of an elaborate dream because there were more than enough fantasies and dreams that revolved around Byakuya confessing to him so Renji never has to do anything about the feelings that bubble up in his gut whenever he finds himself alone with Byakuya. At least when the rest of the pack is around, Renji can focus on them instead of his pack alpha. It takes self-control and discipline, but he can manage well enough.

When reality settles in and Renji realizes the conversation was serious and not a figment of his wishful imagination, he propels himself into action to make all of the preparations needed so he can vacate his position for a week to spend with Byakuya. The thought of sharing an intimate experience with  Byakuya — that Byakuya had come to him with the request instead of the other way around — leaves Renji floundering as he tries to figure out what he could have done to earn this. After all, Byakuya is one of the most sought-after omegas in the area and had given everyone the impression he would never go near another after Hisana’s death.

She had died before Renji joined the pack, though he heard enough to understand what happened. Byakuya closed himself off once Hisana died, deciding in his grief that no one would ever mean as much to him as his mate did. Renji understood that all too well, and respects Byakuya’s wish to remain alone no matter how much he wishes Byakuya would let him in and accept Renji’s desire to court him. But for now, this is more than enough.

His second night of sleep is tumultuous at best, but he sleeps enough that when morning begins to peak over the horizon, he leaps out of bed and prepares himself. Though Byakuya was insistent Renji should bring clothes with him, Renji only has a single change of them and is confident he won’t need much if any of them once he has Byakuya in bed properly. Byakuya might be stubborn but once the exhaustion sets in and he realizes just how much he wants Renji close to him just for the purposes of closeness and comfort, he won’t even remember that he thought Renji might need clothes in the first place.

The walk to Byakuya’s private quarters makes his skin crawl, his hands twitching as he forces himself to breathe slow and deep. Not a big deal, Renji, he tries to tell himself the closer he gets to Byakuya’s door, rubbing his hands on his pants, trying to ignore how sweaty his palms are. You’ve only been thinking about this very moment for years and all the ways you can screw this up and make him hate you forever. No pressure, right?

Before he can spiral into a self-deprecating well of negativity whose bottom is a black void, the scent of cherry blossoms reaches his nose. Byakuya’s natural scent, soft and sweet and subtly spring, almost like a soothing hand running down Renji’s spine and reminding him that Byakuya wants to see him and spend time with him, that Byakuya trusts him to do what Byakuya needs him to do which is far more credit than Renji deserves, considering. But he doubts there is anyone else in this world who would ever take care of Byakuya like he would.

It might be arrogant talking. Renji has known Byakuya significantly less time than most of the rest of the pack, having fought his way to Byakuya’s side specifically to get to know him better rather than to vie for the position of pack alpha. He thinks Byakuya might skin him alive if he ever finds out Renji intends on keeping the second spot all to himself, not intent on challenging Byakuya to a true fight when the position lets him keep anyone from ever reaching Byakuya. The last he can do is ensure Byakuya can live in relative peace and govern their pack without having to worry about outsiders or usurpers trying to take his position as alpha.

The stability had never been there in Renji’s old pack, and they suffered as a result under too many alphas who made too many rapid changes but were never strong enough to properly defend their position. More than once, Renji found himself desperate to prove he could do better, but no part of him wanted to clean up that mess. Byakuya took him in without a second thought when Renji appealed to him to join his pack, and Renji repaid him by climbing to the very top to make sure no one else ever had the chance.