9.- I want you back

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"As your father thought you...always aim for the head"

I slowly aimed at his forehead. I was gripping the knife roughly. My breathing was getting heavier and heavier.

"Do it!"

I swung my arms above my head, ready to kill him. But I still hesitated. I couldn't do it.

"KILL HIM!"

I still haven't made any move, yet. I was deeply staring at his pretty sleeping face. He was so peaceful and almost innocent. But what caught my eyes was this 'B' in a circle on his arm. My eyes started to get watery again. I don't want this...I don't want to kill him...But I'm still doing this. Why? My hands got shaky and tears started to roll down my cheeks. I wanted to put down the knife but something was holding it up. Then there was my mother...

"What are you waiting for? He's a monster. Do it! KILL HIM!"

"NOO!!"

I screamed out again but this time it woke up Louis. He looked around himself in panic. I finally threw the knife on the floor, I put my hands on my head while crying. I never had this big chaos in my head before.

"C-Clem! What happened?!" He tried to hug me but I pushed him away. I don't know what to do anymore.

He's Blue...and I'm Red. We...are rivals.

"Clem, talk to me! Why are you crying?" He asked again but this time it was more calming.
He wanted to stroke my hair from my face but I pushed him away, this time harder.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled and kept crying. He just stared at me sadly. "Clem, what's wro-...oh..."
He noticed his pulled-up sleeve where the mark was clearly seen. He looked down in shock and guilt, the look on his face said that even he forgot he still had it.

"I'm sorry, Clementine...I'm sorry I lied to you about this the whole time we spend together. I was just scared that you wouldn't trust me. Clem, listen, I-...You're the most perfect person I've ever met, I want to stay here with you, I want to protect you, I want to hold you in my arms, I want you to be mine..."

"NO! No, you don't want to! No! No! No!"

"Clem-"

"You don't know me, Louis!! I'm not who you think I am!" I buried my wet face into blankets.
He still didn't understand at all. He looked at me with 'confusion' written all over his face.
"W-what? What are you talking about?"

I finally calmed myself down and stopped crying. I rolled up my right sleeve and showed him the 'R' in a circle. I sadly looked down at my hands. I just waited till he started screaming at me and trying to kill me...because I think I deserve it. I was blinded by my mom and I almost killed him.  The boy I lov-...The boy I truly care about probably hates me now, 'cause of who we are. I'm Red and he's Blue. These two can't be together.

I was still staring at my hands in shame but unexpectedly another pair of hands found them. His warm hands were bigger than mine, so they perfectly fitted together. We locked eyes for a couple of seconds, his eyes full of kindness and forgiveness. I could read his mind by just gazing into his beautiful chocolate eyes.

"You don't get it..." I pulled my hands back.

"We can still work this out, Clem..." he said reassuringly.

"You don't get it at all, do you?"

"I really am sorry that I lied to you, I really am."
he pleaded guilty. But this still can't work out. We can not be together.
"No, Louis. We can't do this."

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