Dreams & Jinxes

Chapter 4

My heart was breaking, seeing my gorgeous, strong and breathe taking dapple grey walk down the ramp of the horse float. His head hung low, all the spark that was there, his glowing eyes, his shining goat, everything was gone. I have never seen him like this. Replacing the spark, the energy, was a expression inched with pain.

His muscle was still present, but every step he took was painful and slow. So different from his usually spring. He would prance and show off at every chance he had, causing more trouble most of the time.

My heart was truly breaking, shattering into a million pieces. I never second guess myself, but looking at him. My walls are falling, my positive attitude was coming to a screaming halt.

What have I done?
I let him be like this.
My friend, my buddy.
I let allowing him to suffer.
What have u done Immi?

I felt a steadier arm go around my waist. Ever so slightly, gently enough to make me feel safe and secure but not to hurt.

"It's ok babe, he'll be alright. We can get him better." The words only reassured me a little. Riley voice held doubt, the slight hesitation before alright said everything. The doubts that had been hitting me in the middle of the nights, were slowly coming to the surface. "You two have been through hell and have come back alive, with a story to tell. This will be no different." These words were true, hell was just the beginning and I could feel that he meant it. We will come back again.

What people don't understand is that I am nothing without horses. If it wasn't for them I would be stuck, in hard thick mud. Two years at boarding school without my horse was enough to nearly make me go insane. I would have dug myself so deep in mud, that no one would have been able to get me out. If it wasn't for the horses, I would have silently died.

But I guess we never realise, that this is what horses truly are. They bring you so many up and downs, some you are screaming your head off when no ones around. Others you feel like your on top of the world feeling like you could do anything. If it wasn't for these moments I would have died a long time ago.

This moment was a screaming moment, but not at anyone but myself. I was letting a beautiful and majestic creature suffer for my own benefit.

I am going to prove everyone wrong, they are not taking my horse away from me. They say it can't be done, the amount of times that I have been told that.
Hey I have beaten the odds a few time before.

I watch him settle down into the stall extra bedding, and I sigh. It was hard trying to get him in here, every step was painful, but he made it. Letting my breath out, I gently lowered my self in the straw, placing my hand on his neck as I fell down next to him. I guess seeing him like this made most of the first memories come out.

I knew then that then there was nearly 100% chance of recovery then, now I am not so sure. I guess a lot has happen since those days, when the pressure was containable and everything was done for fun.

Now it's like, if you don't place, you lose all sponsorship. For the past three days, we have been swamped with horse offers, "charity help" what Miranda commonly likes to call it. Sometimes I wonder if they had a heart at all. If they think that I would give up on jinx and move onto another horse so quickly, well their idiots aren't they. Two faced equestrian people, sick in the head. Here all they think about is results and nothing else. Like the horses are machines, I work with these people everyday and it hurts to say that even my friends are telling me to except the offers. That you need to look into the future, if you want to get to the top then you have to leave him and move on.

Breathe in, breathe out. Don't let them get to you. Punching one of the stupid wannabes will not prove anything, but that you are having doubts. Keep strong and never let them get to you. The parting words of my boarding school instructor, don't let the snobs take hold of what you know, ignore them and follow your gut instinct. It's strong and you will know what's right and wrong.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked to see Riley standing at the door of stall. Smirk stuck on his beautiful face.

"Hey babe, found a new bed have we?" He said with his famous smirk smirk still visible. I smiled, he maybe joking but it will be where I will be for the next several months or more. I stood up, Jinx had his eyes closed, and I will let him rest. It hurt to leave him like this, but i have full faith in him. He was stronger then he looked. We were going to make it, I know we will.

Walking out of the stall, I practically had to drag myself out. I looked up to see the smirk still present on Riley's face. He was trying not to laugh, and I guess I was expecting that.

"Hey, let's go see jasmines lesson, see how she handling the new horse." I sighed, not truly wanting to leave Jinx, but I knew that curiosity will get the better of me.

Walking towards Riley, I smiled, if it wasn't for him I would have been still stuck in hell, under influence of dodgy teachers.

Instead of turning around to walk with me, he stepped forward and put his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. Without even thinking twice, I sling my arms around his neck and kiss him quickly. Deciding to pull away, before he made me lose my chain of thought.

Smiling against his lips, I stepped backed completely and turned on my heel. Leaving him, with a sulky expression.

"Maybe you should think twice about rushing me, cause it will come back and bite you." I gently laughed and walk away.