short ramblings of a mentally unstable fire sign✨

9.10.17

        You've long since gone, yet your scent lingers in my nostrils, intoxicating and infuriating. How dare you? You waltz into my life and become my everything. Consume all that is me, and spit out what mangled bits remain once you've had your fill. Toss my now-empty shell aside like a piece of garbage.
       Yet still I crave the warmth of your skin against mine. Still I wish to feel your breath on my neck. I want to hear you snort with laughter while watching your favorite goofy comedy. I long to see the way your eyes all but disappear when you grin that big flashy grin. Your famous grin. I want to hear the way your voice changes, and see the way your face lights up and your eyes glisten as you ramble on about the things you're passionate about.
        I miss the way our hands fit together so naturally, like puzzle pieces. I miss the way you would do anything to make me laugh, no matter how much I resisted at times. I miss the way just being with you made me feel whole.
        Do you miss these things too? No, of course not. Otherwise you'd be with me. I wouldn't be broken. I don't want to be broken anymore. I want to be yours again.
        I long for the cold mornings under the covers, using each other for heat; legs tangled together and arms tightly wound around waists and necks. The cold, dreary outside world was a beatiful thing to us. It was our favorite kind of day. Neither of us ever wanted to leave the bed; to leave the warmth. Now leaving the bed is difficult for a whole new reason. Cold mornings are no longer filled with the content and warmth they once were in this bed. They're now just dark and icey. Lonesome.
        How dare you come into my life and leave it in such a wreck. You came through like a hurricane; you rained down on me and flooded me with feelings and emotions, the likes of which I'd never felt before. You washed away my fears and doubts for a brief time, only to leave me and send them rushing back like a raging river. Letting you into my life was the best and worst thing I've ever allowed myself to do.
        And I would do it again, without hesitation.