13 Reasons Why// Winterwatcher (Discontinued)

{19} Problems

"The choice between what was and what could be"

-Gayle Forman

~

"There are the two other tapes," Winter whispered. His blue eyes were staring intensely into hers. "Someone stole it. I don't know who, but she told me."

Moon raised an eyebrow. "She? Who's she?"

Winter shrugged. "Lynx. She figured out where I was hiding. She came and told me."

Were they that close? Moon felt jealousy arise in her chest. "Oh," she said, struggling to keep her voice normal. "Do you have an idea who stole them?"

Winter scratched his head. "Not really. I still can't remember much."

A silence. Winter seemed uncomfortable. She stared at her room wall, wishing there was something to talk about. Something that would make him feel better.

After a few minutes, Winter spoke.

"What am I to you?"

Moon raised an eyebrow. "That's a hard question to answer."

Winter dropped his gaze. "I know."

Mpon sighed. "Winter...I don't think I know the answer myself. You're many things to me."

"I won't push you." Winter gave her a wary grin. "Maybe I murdered your favorite snail or something, and you're plotting revenge."

Moon raised an eyebrow and laughed. "You actually treathened to put me into jail for touching the pony you brought in for show and tell."

"Woah. Seriously? So am I a snobby jerk?" Winter asked.

Moon shook her head. "You're actually a tough cinnamon roll."

Winter laughed hard. "Me? A cinnamon roll?"

Moon pressed her finger to her lips. "Shhh! My mom will wake up!"

Winter grinned. "Did we have conversations like this? Before...everything?"

No, we were a little busy making out, she thought, blushing. He stared her quizzically.

"Yeah. We did," she replied hastily. "We matched, you and I."

Winter brightened. "And what about him? The...blonde guy? Qibli, was it?"

Moon felt a panicky rush. "Uhm. Yeah. We went along. We were the threesome, you know? The Big Three."

"You guys dated when I was here before, right?" Winter said, eyeing the backpack on the floor.

Moon felt heat rush to her face. No. I dated you. But it didn't seem right to tell him. "No." She narrowed her eyes. She would tell him a part of the truth. That wasn't necessarily lying, right? "There was this guy...before. But...he left."

Before he could reply, she breathed in quickly, cutting him off. "But, you know. A lot of things have happened since you were gone."

Winter didn't reply. Moon fell once again into the awkward silence.

Talking to him didn't feel the same. He seemed like a whole different person.

He fidgeted with a loose string on his shirt. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. And you're trying so hard, to make me feel better. I...I wish I could do something for you. Maybe I was too caught up with my own pain that I wasn't noticing everyone else's around me." He blinked. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Moon smiled. "Just seeing you here...it helps. I missed you a lot, Winter."

Winter looked up at her. "Can I ask a favor, then?"

Moon nodded. Her heart pounded against her chest. Anything, her treacherous heart whispered. Anything for you.

Winter was avoiding her eyes as he reached out and grasped her hand in his. Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Anything. Anything. Anything.

"I know I'm asking a lot...maybe too much...but when we go through this...can you..." -he swallowed- "stay with me?"

Moon stared into his eyes. I promise it on my life. "Always," she breathed.

Her eyes looked straight into his. Her voice echoed in her mind, always, always, always.

She thought about the kiss in the rain. His blue eyes. His lips.

Then she knew. I never stopped loving him. I can't. He's a part of me. He already took a place in my heart. He's irreplaceable.

The world twisted. She didn't feel sane. There was just Winter and her, orbiting each other, his hands so warm and cold at the same time.

She wanted more.

What about Qibli?

She wanted more.

You can't...

She wanted more.

She reached out, hoping he would kiss her, anything—!

That was when the door slowly opened.

~