Fantasma

Chapter 9: Outmatched

It was amazing, standing under the leafy umbrella of trees; Earth's high rise offerings to the sun. Here, in the endless city of green and light and shadow, dwelt the most sacred of things- silence beyond silence; a quiet so deep it was nameless.

Leonardo could wander for days in the shade of avocado trees, running his fingers over waxy leaves, his palms against the rough bark. Every step was like peeling back the layers stilling rough waters in the coll dark of a hot day. Every breath, every footstep, every fall and rise of the sun lifted the weight from his shoulders bit by bit until it vanished. Hunting, fire building, climbing trees and bathing in the muddied pools lifted the weariness from his bones like meditation.

The turtle never hungered a mortal's feast, but barely noticed. He thirsted, but the feeling was only a whisper, and a thirst that could not be quenched by water. Instinct was all he needed now. The emptiness was all he knew.

Leo had travelled thousands of miles and seen nothing but tragedy, pain and cruelty. The cold had gripped his bones, the violent seas had sickened him, and the mountains only taught him he still had so much left to learn. But here, so far away from any trace of the world he's known, he could shed it like a second skin and walk bodiless for a while; shave the pain away like ice drowning in the sun.

Long ago the blue cladded turtle lived in the shadows of a city bathed in light. Long ago he worried until he felt he would be crushed. That was why he had to stay; That was why he had to be empty; That was why he had to wander.

Was it a sin to finally feel free?

"It's time to feed- There's a village nearby," Abigor whispered softly, her hand tracing the edges of his bicep as she gave him a gentle embrace. "Come, Leonardo."

Freedom was a lie.

......

Leonardo pressed his eyes closed, revelling in his own agony- that deep, raw pain of hunger eating away at his inside. His body shook and sweat dampened his pale skin, and as he closed his eyes the room seemed to melt away. Pain was weakness leaving the body.

"You're going to hurt yourself if you keep pushing like that. You've got to let it heal." Raphael whispered, leaning against his doorway.

"I've already healed." Leo gritted out, wincing as his muscles tighten so angrily he had to hold his breath. "I'm just trying to-" Too little, too late. "... Fight it." The hunger.

"I don't know who you're fighting, Leo, but you're not gonna win- Not this way." Raph replied, steadily approaching his brother. "I can hit up the blood bank-"

The blue cladded turtle shuddered, sucking in a breath, and the darkness cleared enough to see his brother's figure coming tentatively closer. He imagined a smug look on his face- Patronising- Judging.

"You okay?" No. Concern. Genuine concern. He's worried about him- they all are. But they shouldn't be. He was only doing what he needed to do- only being what he needed to be, according to Master Splinter- perfect. Pain was weakness leaving the body.

Footsteps approached, but he was too wrapped up in agony to do anything about it. His brother crouched down, gaze level in the moonlight spilling down from the window.

"Hey."

Leonardo turned away, focusing on fighting through the pain enough to gather up his dropped katana. He can feel the latter tense as the older turtle extended his hand, and the katana levitated just a few inches off the ground, into his waiting hand.