Divided Love. [Twilight Fanfiction]

1.

Spending the past six months in Michigan, I learned some new things. Never trust anyone who promises to give you the world. No one is your friend when they watch you suffer through the unimaginable pain, without asking if you need help. Then, finally, home is where your heart is. no matter how empty, and lifeless it is. It is still home. When I left for college, I thought I was going to experience a whole new life but I was completely wrong. I felt nothing but heartbreak, worthlessness, and unhappiness. I had completely given up college to come home, to save myself from all this pain and my ex-boyfriend Ethan. I'm hoping I made the right choice.

Driving home wasn't the worst part about all this, but just the fact I wouldn't be able to have my parents to fall back on hurt most of all. My dad died two months before I graduated high school which hurt a lot more than I thought it would. We hadn't been getting along in the weeks leading up to his death. I always thought I would have tomorrow. But, now I don't and it hurts. Then, my mom went missing a week after I had left for college. Everyone on the Rez had gone looking for her but found no traces of her. Her money, car, keys, and everything was still in the bedroom. It's like she vanished. Jared told me I didn't need to come home, mom would turn up sooner or later. Six months later, she was still missing.

So, here I was 30 minutes away from my home in La Push to find comfort from this ravaged pain I have been going through the past six months. I was hoping to find comfort. Something I've been craving for ages but I only get it in my dreams. Where my dreams are sometimes my only get away from this world. Maybe that's what kept me alive; my dreams or the person in my dreams. He was this honey blonde man with the eyes of gold. His southern accent can still be heard if I think about it hard enough. I long for him to be real, to save me from the nightmare I was living in but it was far fetched this man was real. Or if he would save me from this hell.

-

When I finally pulled up to my house. It was dark and empty which meant Jared wasn't home. No one was. I grabbed my bags as I dug out my house keys. I was thankful when my key fit the hole, turning it I was welcomed to smell of cinnamon and vanilla sugar. I dropped my bags as I turned on the living room lights. It was the same as when I left. Two la-z boys on either side of the matching couch, pictures of family littered the walls and the side tables. Pictures of me when I was a baby, when I went to prom with some guy named Max from my science class, then my graduation photos of me, Jared and my mom. The last know picture we have of her.

I sat on the couch holding the photo trying to think of why Jared and I lost our parents like this. What were we missing? Was this bad karma from the things we did? Or was this just god torturing us. We both tried to do the right things, we both tried to be good people but something wasn't right. I leaned back as I inhaled the scent of the house. The feelings of Deja UV came flooding through my body. I just wish I could go back in time.

I didn't know where Jared was. I don't even know where to look for him. I sighed and checked the time, seeing it was only 7:15. I decided to make a quick trip to see Emily Young down the road. She was a family friend for as long as I can remember. I remember Emily and her cousin Leah had gotten into it a few times over some guy named Sam. I didn't understand why they were fighting over some guy. I sort of thought it was childish. I grabbed my keys once more before heading out, driving to Emily's house, hoping she wasn't asleep yet or busy. I need a little girl time, maybe even a little normal time. I haven't really had a good conversation with anyone since before I left Michigan. I don't really count the pathetic conversations I had with Ethan's stoner friends at 2 am when I was trying to study.

Pulling up at Emily's house made me feel a little more at home. I took notice her home was lit up which meant she was home, or she was doing late-night cleaning. I locked my car, heading up to the door knocking on it twice. I heard several voices, and booming laughter when someone finally opened up the door. He stood there with a dumb look on his face. Shirtless, cut off jeans and shoes, this man struck me as odd. It was thirty degrees and he was wearing only this. He gave me a small smile, somewhat flashing me his pearly white teeth at me. He was handsome, toned, and all-around a model time but I wasn't interested.