Connected

Chapter 8: Life

"Is anything me?

My dust of a body,

My layers of flesh,

My expanse of emotions,

My beauty of intellect.

Am I a delusion of nothing,

Or me is a direct result of Him?"

Now this is what Leah had been wanting ever since the hotel. Quiet. What bliss to finally have it.

It was tranquil and Jacob didn't do anything to disturb it. He was muted all the time they were here, allowing her to have her own space, making her reflect on the things she's been through.

How she wished this peace would last. But like they say there is calm before the storm. For at the back of her head she can already feel the nagging question of why? Why did Jacob allow her to go through those appalling encounters?

"Do you hate me now?" Jacob began as if he had heard her ongoing thoughts.

Leah resigned. "Should I?" She asked back. Her head straightened on the back of the wall they were leaning on.

Unable to contain it any longer she fired the scorching question, "Why?" then added, "What good will this do to me?"

Jacob's head was hanging low on his shoulders, "Freedom," answered he.

"What a terrible price to pay then." Leah remarked.

"Wars were fought, and lives sacrifice for the sake of it."

"Hmm, sacrifice." Leah mulled over the word.

Silence. Then Jacob confesses, "Leah I've done this because I want you to live."

Her brows furrowed. "But the way you played it stripped me of my motivation for life. You have honestly emptied me of my desire to return to life. I no longer will it."

"No, Leah," Jacob contradicted. "I merely corrected your desire for living. Before this you only wanted to go back so you can exact vengeance to those who hurt you but after being in that room with them, you know you can't do it."

Leah regarded him with incredulity. "Playing god, are we now." With a shake of her head, she looked away from him. 

All of a sudden, she started missing the old days when she was just a carefree teenager, able to hope for whatever she liked. Then almost immediately her face came into her mind, Hana.

She breathed in the night air and, finding it refreshing, her eyes suddenly stung. A wave of sadness filling her that Leah veered her eyes to the night sky and the resurfacing moon illuminated the deep longing hiding in her soul.

Then unexpectedly and almost impossibly, she broke into small uncontrollable sobs. Her heart shrinking to a pulp. Turning to Jacob, she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I hate you." She at last pronounced.

"It's okay," Jacob readily accepted wrapping a hand around her. Whispering in comfort he said, "I won't let you go." Then he patiently waited until Leah finished crying.

After her unforeseen breakdown, Leah raised her face from Jacob's shoulder. She felt her chest shamefully much lighter now that she had emptied it from her suppressed tears. They said tears are the healing waters of the soul, well there is surely some truth to that.

"Okay?" Jacob asked, staring her in the eyes.

Leah nodded her head in response. "You look awful." He grinningly teased.