You Again

Ch. 29

A/N: This is a sad chapter so those who are sensitive to rape, suicide, depression, please take caution. 

After eating breakfast without talking, we washed the dishes before we sat on the couches in their apartment. I looked at the two of them. I didn't know where to start. When I looked at Gabriel, I knew I had to ask a question. "Gabriel, when did you stop singing?"

His blue eyes met mine before he looked away. He sighed before running a hand through his hair. "I stopped singing almost a year ago."

I dreaded the answer to the question I was about to ask. "Why?"

Gabriel covered his face with his hands. The apartment was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke softly. "It was the mission that was the breaking point for us." He looked over at Luke who nodded.

Luke started to speak. "It was at the beginning of the year. Did you hear about the Hellfire takedown?"

I nodded. The news of the gang's takedown was known nationwide. They were involved in kidnapping, drug, fraud, murder, and more.

Luke sighed. His brown eyes seemed tired and lifeless. "We were given a mission to gather information about a gang who were kidnapping both homeless girls and boys. North, Gabriel, me, and Victor had infiltrated the gang. North acted as the muscles. Gabriel became seller, and I was became the person who watched over the merchandise. Victor was a technician. Before an important meeting the boss was having with sellers, Victor had placed bugs in the office. The meeting was about to begin when Victor noticed that a bug was starting to malfunction. He sent out a text, telling us to get rid of it. Gabriel and I were the closest and decided to switch the bug out. We had just finished replacing the bug when the door opened. Raul, the boss, and his colleagues caught us. They captured us and started to beat us, demanding who we were working for." Luke suddenly stood up and went to the window to look out, his back to me. "When beating us didn't work, they..." He stopped. He lifted his hand to his face, wiping away the tears I couldn't see. "They..."

Tears ran down my face. Although he didn't say it, I knew what he meant.

Gabriel spoke. "When the others were able to save us, Luke and I had been beaten beyond recognition. After that mission, I flinched at every raised hand. I kept having flashbacks. I've done counseling and every time it seemed that I was doing well, I'd have a flashback. For months, I lived with flashbacks, nightmares, and fears that I plunged into depression. I had gotten into a fight at a bar and was pushed into glass." He paused before continuing. "The glass cut me, and it was that pain that seemed to give me some clarity. I started to cut myself just to feel relief. Then something happened that made me stop cutting. That's where the stress ball came in. I knew that if I didn't have something to do, I would start cutting myself again."

I moved forward and slowly reached my hand out. His blue eyes looked at my hand before grabbing it, holding it tightly as if he feared I would disappear. Before I could speak, Luke moved. He turned around, leaning against the window. His brown eyes looked at my hand that was intertwined with Gabriel's. His eyes were red and puffy from crying.

He was silent before he started to speak again. "I kept begging them to do the worst to me. For some reason, they did. I had to have several surgeries to repair what they did to me. After we were released from the hospital, I refused counseling. I fell into depression and didn't want anyone to be near me except Gabriel. I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to call out for help but for some reason I couldn't. One day, I couldn't bear it anymore. I had written a note and had taken apart my razor. In my bathtub, I tried to commit suicide. As blood leaked from my wrists, I became afraid. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to die, but I didn't know what to do. Gabriel found me and called an ambulance. I remember how he fought with the others, and I wanted to blame them. I wanted to yell at them, blame them that because they weren't fast enough, Gabriel and I were tortured and belittled and raped. I wanted to yell at them that they didn't care about us. That all we were people that should have been hidden because of what happened to us. I hated them because they didn't see the hurt that Gabriel and I were living in, but at that moment, I saw that they were also hurting. So once I got out of the hospital, Gabriel and I distanced ourselves from the others. I knew that our team was breaking but I didn't know what to do. So I did what I needed to do. I stayed with Gabriel because we both needed each other."

I held out my other hand towards him. Luke smiled sadly before grabbing it. Tears started to fall down his face, and I pulled him into a hug. His face pressed against my neck, and I felt the tears drip onto my skin. I looked at Gabriel who was crying silently. Pulling my hand out of his, I gently wiped his tears away. His blue eyes were full of sadness, anger, fear, and hurt. Grasping my hand with both of his, he cried. His tears falling onto our intertwined hands.

I don't know how much time had passed but the tears subsided. Gabriel had moved to sit beside me. His head leaned against my shoulder, and Luke sat near my feet. His head was in my lap, and I gently ran my hand through his hair. "Would you guys be willing to work things out with the others?"

Gabriel whispered. His voice was hoarse. "I do. I need to let all my anger out for them, but I want to be a family again."

"I want that, too. I miss them," Luke spoke. "Sang, how did you get past your pass?"

A memory of Rin, Caiden, Rowan, Ryker, and me on my bed reappeared. I spoke softly. "Rin said that we all have ghosts. That we all have our scars and we have to work each day to live with our past. And the way to get rid of them is by not letting them overtake us. We can overcome our grief and guilt.

"My team, Dr. Roberts, Uncle, your family. All of us are here for you. It'll be a hard journey with many ups and downs, but it will be worth it."

Luke spoke. "Sang, will you sing us a song?"

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the night's so long

'Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I
I look at you

When I look at you, I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover me, all I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I
I look at you
I look at you

You appear just like a dream
To me

As the song ended, I felt a shift in the air. I knew that although the journey would be hard and maybe painful, it would be worth it.

I hope you guys liked the chapter although it was a sad chapter. Comment about anything you like or hate!! P.S. I usually don't like Miley Cyrus but I feel like this song best fits this chapter. Love, Azallya.