The Broken Tale

Lost

           Noise.
           A lot of noise.
           Voices and beeping sounds all surrounded her. But the world was black. She groaned at the agitating pain in her head. Her throat burnt in sore dryness. Her body felt stuff but she put all her strength to move her head.
"Layla? Layla? Layla, can you hear me, babe?" She felt a warm tear land on her cheek with Brian's voice, "Doctors! Miss! Miss, please get a doctor! I think she's awake!"
It took more strength that Layla could have every imagined to simply creak her eyes open.
            Through her hazy vision, Layla could still see Brian's tear soaked, swollen face smiling down at her with relief so immense that she had never seen on him.
"Brian..." she muttered.
"I'm right here, Laili, I'm right here."
She felt his warm lips press against her hand.
"Shhhh, you're okay. Everything's okay, you're okay."
"Wh-"
"Shhhh, don't wear yourself out." He hushed, "Everything's okay."
         Layla felt commotion around her. She could head doctors and nurses talking around her. She felt them take tubes and IV's off of her, replacing some with newer ones and moving her broken limbs around. Layla could see the immense relief on Brian's face as he spoke to the doctors. One of the younger doctors said something to her but Layla's mind was too preoccupied to grasp it.
        Finally much to Layla's relief the doctors and nurses left them alone in the room. Brian filled a glass with some water and walked over to her bedside. He set the glass down on a nightstand. "Can you sit up, Babe" He asked.
Layla tried to lift herself up with their free arm but she sank back into her pillow with a loud groan.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'll help."
Very carefully Brian wrapped his arms around her waist and helped her sit up.
         Though her entire body hurt, the pain was drowned out by the warmth of Brian's arm around her. Now sitting up, Layla got a better look at her surroundings. She recognized the style of the hospital very easily.
"Are we back in the U.S?" Layla asked dryly.
Brian helped her sip some of the water.
"No, babe. We couldn't risk taking you in a flight that long, you were way too injured."
"But isn't this Chanel's hospital?"
"It's one of her hospitals." Brian answered, "We're in Istanbul."
Layla sighed in relief, at least she was not behind the bars of Iraq anymore.
"You really made me shit my pants, Laili." Brian said, twisting a lock of her hair around his fingers, "I didn't know if I'd be able to live without you."
"What happened?" Layla asked impatiently despite her pain.
Brian sighed, "A lot."
"Brian, 'alot' ain't very specific. Who got us here? Where's Ali? How'd we get to fucking Turkey? Wait, Wh...where's Alondra?"
"You should get some rest, babe, we'll talk la-"
"What happened? Where's my daughter?"
Brian smiled sadly. What good would it be for her if he left her to wallow in her tantalizing fear and anticipation?
"I'm sorry." He said softly.
"S-Sorry? For wh-what?"
He fidgeted around with her free hand between his. Layla knew that he was reluctant and afraid since he could not bring himself to look at her.
"You passed out just as the FBI broke in the building. They managed to shoot Ali with just enough time to save the rest of us."
"Rest of us? W-Was someone hurt?"
He chewed his lower lip.
"I'm sorry, babe."
Layla could hear her heart beating in her temples.
"Why the fuck are you sorry dammit?" She screamed.
"Before Chanel could shoot him...he...Layla, Ali shot your parents."
"Chanel was there?"
Brian stared at her blankly for a moment. Layla could tell from how his eyelids were twitching that something was confusing him.
"Wh-what?" She asked.
He shrugged, "Nothing, it's just...I expected a different reaction but..."
Layla pursed her lips.
"I can't even count the times I've come face to face with death, Brian. My body's half the strength it used to be, my mind is completely scarred for life. If they had not chosen to do this to me, I would've never been here."
"I know..."
"You almost died, my baby almost died, I almost died right in front of their eyes but all they ever had to say was..."
She bit her lip, biting away her sobs. She could not take in deep breaths without her broken ribs paining her.
"All they had to say was beg him to kill me already...I know it makes me an awful person but h-how can I feel anything if I know that if it were me who was shot they'd be prancing around." She croaked.
Brian shook his head in despair. He carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulder very lightly and pecked her cheek.
"It doesn't make you an awful person, Layla, it simply makes you a person." He reassured.
"Yes it does. What daughter doesn't feel shit when she just found out her parents died?"
"A daughter who's been hurt by those very same parents for her whole life."
"Can you imagine if Alondra doesn't feel anything once we die?"
"We won't hurt Alondra the way your parents hurt you, Layla. But if we do then she better spit on our graves while she's at it. No parent should hurt their kids like that, Layla, if they do then they're really no parents and don't deserve the credits of being one."
Layla did not want to think of it. Simply being alive was a miracle she did not expect. As much as she wanted to feel grief for her parents' death, as much as she wanted to be broken for them like any daughter would, she could not. It was no longer a gene in her DNA.
        But she was alive. Brian was alive. Their daughter was...
"Wait, Brian, where's Alondra?" She asked, her eyes scanning him.
"She's perfectly fine, babe, she's staying in one of Chanel's apartments with the nanny." He answered calmly.
Layla breathed a sigh of relief.
"Have you talked to Chanel yet?" Layla asked.
"About that." Brian sighed, "Um, Chanel...well, she's uh... Chanel's here."
"Really? Then why isn't she coming in?"
"She can't exactly come."
Layla raised an eyebrow, "Wh-Why? I-Is she hurt or something?"
"The thing is...Ali didn't really want to go down that easily. Chanel only shot him in the legs so his hands were um free so you know, he uh...he shot her."
"Shot her?" Layla shouted, "What do you mean shot her? Is she okay?"
"Y-Yeah." Briar stuttered reluctantly.
"Brian, for fuck's sake! Drop the act!"
"She's okay, Layla, she's recovering here as well. It's only been one day so I don't think she's awake yet."
"It's been one day?" Layla asked in surprise.
He nodded.
      It was funny for Layla to think that in merely two days, her life had risen up, crumbled and pulled out of the dirt once more. In just two days, she had gone through three different worlds. It was surreal to think just yesterday she believed she was looking at Brian and her baby for the last time.
"Is she alright? Have you told her husband?" Layla asked.
"Yes, he-he landed a few hours ago. Chanel's uh...she's-she's okay but we all had a um a little surprise."
"Surprise? What kind of surprise?"
He laughed nervously.
"The bullet wound didn't really take Chanel down at least until she ordered us to be brought here but um...Once they took her into surgery to get the bullet out, they-they um...they found out that uh...she-she happened to have been...pregnant."
Layla's jaw dropped, "Pregnant? Wh...b... is the baby alright?"
Brian shook his head slowly.
"But...no! Was she alone or something? How could he shoot her?"
"She wasn't alone, it was simultaneous. Nobody saw it coming."
"No, no, no, no, no!"
"Hey, hey, it's okay."
"No, it fucking is not! We cost that woman her baby!"
"We didn't know she was pregnant, Layla, and we didn't want it to be this way."
Layla felt her eyes beginning to tear up yet again right before the years from yesterday had even dried up yet.
"Layla," Brian sighed, stroking her cheek with his soft palm, "Don't do this to yourself."
"Brian, can you imagine how we would've felt if we had lost Alondra? We... She lost her baby because of us. If she hadn't helped me then she could've been sitting happily with her hands in her belly not in a damn hospital bed with a bullet scar on her."
"But what choice did we have in this? We're victims just like her."
He was still smiling but his smile was shaking just as much as his voice was. Only then did Layla realize how much pain he was going through himself. He was the one who was to deal with the guilt that was visibly cracking him, he was the one that had to pretend to be strong, he was the one that had to watch his world being beaten, held at gunpoint and assaulted.
       Layla placed her hand around his cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry, babe?" He asked.
"For putting you through so much. I-I can't really imagine how you must've felt watching what happened."
"Laili, you really love degrading your own pain and overstating other people's. Babe, nothing any of us have went through can come close to the years of pain you've endured all by yourself."
"I-"
"It doesn't matter, Babe. I can forget, you can heal and we can move on."
Layla sighed, "That's the part that scared me the most."
"Why, Laili?"
"What if I don't recover? Somethings tie people together, Brian, and once it's gone everything falls apart. What if without fighting Ali to tie us together, we fall out?"
He pursed his lips.
"It's true that love can be effected a lot by circumstances and you know, I think that's the problem. People are told that love is forever but that's usually a lie. Love is not forever, communication is." He placed a kiss on her hand, "If we can talk when and where we feel like we need to then we can always find something else to tie our hearts to one another."
"What if we can't?" She asked.
"Then we try to not lose face for our child's sake and just appreciate the memories and efforts we have together. But I don't think we'll ever get to that point."
"What if we do?"
"Maybe you should try enjoying our time together than to waste it. That way even if that day does come, you'll remember the good memories not years of worries." He pressed his forehead against hers, brushing his lips with hers, "For now, let's enjoy the moments we have together. Because if you ask me, Laili, I know that my last breathe will be a mutter of your name."
"I love you..."
"I'll always love you."
        Layla seemed to have been unbothered by her parents' deaths but even so she tried to avoid the subject. She interrupted him and changed the topic every time he tried to tell her what happened. To her, her past had long lost its value so had the family that had ruined her whole life right from birth. She had given them her childhood and adolescence up until she had turned twenty-three. She would not give them more.
         For hours, Brian tried to persuade Layla to get some rest but she completely brushed him off. She seemed to have quickly brushed almost every moment of her past abuse away. She spoke only of what they should do once she recovered. Where they should live, what type of house she wanted, what jobs and cars they wanted and what they should buy for Alondra. She spoke of the future with a twinkling spark in her eyes and a grin on her face as if she was not the one beaten and stabbed close to death just yesterday. Brian could not help but wonder if it was merely temporary denial before she finally crumbled under the traumatic scars of the past.
           She talked ecstatically without stopping for a breath even as he fed her. Getting her to stop talking long enough for her to chew proved to be a task and Brian had to repeatedly remind her to chew slowly. She had endless ideas that Brian imagined must have been the dreams that kept her going through the darker days by herself. They were dreams that she never thought would come true but now that she had a chance to make them come true, her desire for it was strong enough to drown out the trauma.
         Soon, Layla did eventually get drained of her energy. She soon did fall asleep. Left alone, the nurses asked Brian to leave so they could do a regular check up and clean her up.
         The hospital looked just as luxurious as am up market hotel. Brian wondered how much Chanel must have spent on it. From when Layla was admitted to one of her hospitals in America, he knew that her hospitals were completely free. He wondered why she would put so much money into a ring of hospitals that did not bring her in any profit. Yet again, he laughed at how own thoughts. Chanel probably got more than four times the money the hospitals needed in merely a week. Money was defiantly a problem to anyone except her, he thought.
          As he slowly crept inside, the tension and surrow of the room slapped him across the face. Guilt seeped through his veins when he saw her. She looked so...ill.
          Her gorgeous expensive dresses were switched for a light blue hospital gown. Her short brown hair was no longer beautifully styled, instead it was falling over her shoulders in light waves. No make up, no diamond jewelry, no high heels. But even with her face pale and her eyes tired, she was still smiling, amplifying her beautiful features with or without make up.
          Cameron was seated by her bedside. He looked...devastated. Pressing her hand to his forehead, Brian could see his face flushed red and stained with...tears. Though it was Chanel who was wounded, it was her who was muttering comforting words to her husband. Most of which, Brian could make out to be her apologizing a d him reassuring her that it was not her fault but he was still in visible pain.
         Chanel caught a glimpse of Brian almost immediately. She tried to sit up but the sudden motion proved to be too painful for her and made her groan loudly.
"It's okay, it's okay, don't move." Brian said quickly.
"You'll pull your stitches out, amore mio," Cameron sighed as he fixed the pillows for her, "there, lie down slowly."
Cameron was trying to avoid eye contact with Brian.
"How are you?" Brian asked, sitting on a chair on Chanel's other side.
Chanel smiled, "I'm fine."
Brian fidgeted around with his hand. He broke his eyes from Chanel's. He could not bear look at her sweet smile without having his guilt break him down.
"How's Layla?" Chanel asked.
Her voice was slightly coarse and husky, a difference was very noticeable now that she was too tired to speak in her seductive high tone.
"She's-she's better." He mumbled.
"The nurses told me she was awake."
He nodded.
"Well? How was she? Did...you tell her?"
"Yeah...I did."
"How'd she take it?"
"You probably won't believe it."
"Try me."
"She took it... well she really didn't want to talk about it."
Brian himself ended up being the one surprised when he heard nothing from her. Not a gasp, not disgust or even shock.
"I can't say I'm very surprised honestly." She admitted, "In fact, I'm actually really relieved. Those people were not parents, Brian, and they don't deserve the privilege of being called parents."
"Yes, that's what I said but..." he sighed, "I don't really know. It just feels a little...wrong? I know, I know, it's just that I'm so used to parents being mourned and screamed for that...it just makes me so uneasy thinking that a child can be so cold to their parents' death."
"Bri"
"Don't get me wrong, Layla, I'm not blaming Layla at all, it's just that-"
"I get it." She interrupted, "Look, Brian, once you work in law enforcement or just with social problems in general, this type of stuff becomes kind of...expected."
"I'm sorry, amore, but how's this expected?" Cameron asked.
"We should bonestly be glad. It's very likely that Layla could've formed Stockholm Syndrome to not just her parents but Ali as well." Chanel explained, "Most people in her shoes don't usually speak out until it's too late because they can't bring themselves to tell on them. We're always told that parents are divine and they're always right. That's not true, parents can be wrong as well and if they are then they don't deserve to have their child's love. I think Layla's really strong and smart for knowing who her enemies are despite what society has told her."
"I'm scared that it's only a matter of time before things collapse on her. It's like I can't help but think what I'm going to do if these scars become too much for her to bear."
"Brian, Layla's spent her whole life in abuse. Take it from me, it ain't going to be easy for her to adjust to a world without it." Chanel sat up slight with a groan in pain, "We can dream of something a lot but we may struggle a little at first to adapt. It's also normal to hate ourselves for not instantly being happy because we blame ourselves for not adapting and still struggling even though we've always thought we'd be happy if we reached our dreams."
"We spend far too long dreaming of something that we sometimes forget how to realistically deal with it once we do actually reach it." Cameron added without looking at Brian.
"These are all things you should expect, Brian, because that's a natural human response. And you know what else is? Recovering. Things may or may not go as what you think but either way, you have to understand the pain Layla's been through won't just disappear like scribbles on the sand but they will disappear someday. You need to be patient and understand her because now she needs you to be different. She can't have you be the strong protector you were when Ali was around, now she needs you to be the real you and in my advice, I think a few soft hugs and comfort would do her good. She's had enough rough bullshit, she needs nothing more than love."
"I...Thanks and I'm glad because honestly it's not like I was glad playing the protector role. I don't think I could do it for much longer anyway."
"All I'm saying is that struggling is normal, Brian, so don't beat yourself over it. I suggest you just hold your girlfriend and daughter and enjoy the moment right now. Appreciate how far you've come and how strong you've been."
"That's what I said to her when she woke up but." He let out a sigh of despair, "It's hard pretending like I believe it myself in front of her."
"Well then maybe you should try healing together instead of you letting yourself bleed to death just so she can heal. Let me tell you, Brian, she won't be happy without you so don't deprive her of your health and happiness. You know that's what makes her happy."
Brian bit his lower lip as he forced a smile. Exhausted, tired and forcing himself to be happy for the past torturous days, he was near breaking.
"I'm so sorry." He coaxed, "I'm so sorry for what happened to you both. I can't even think of how much pain you must be going through just for people you've probably never even met and I'm so fucking sorry."
"Hey, hey, hey, Brian, it's okay, it's okay." Chanel assured, "None of this is your fault,
"I don't think we-"
"You don't need to repay me, Brian, because I haven't done anything. Kindness isn't a debt, Brian, and you should never see it as one."
"Mister Valdez, I-"
"It's Cameron."
"I'm so sorry, Cameron. I can't imagine how I'd be if something had happened to Alondra. I can understand if you hate us now but I swear we never wanted it to be like this."
Cameron shook his head, "It's not your fault. You're just the victims in this."
"Chanel, I'm so sorry. I wish it were me not an innocent baby."
"Don't say that, Brian." Chanel replied softly, "I didn't even know I was pregnant. My baby didn't even have a heart beat yet. It's better an unborn baby dying by accident than three living, breathing people being wiped out."
       Though up until then, Cameron could not have even brought himself to look Brian in the eyes, he forced himself to his feet.
"This isn't your fault," Cameron said, patting Brian on the shoulder, "don't beat yourself up over something that you had no control of and something that's already passed."
"We can't change it so don't let it ruin your future." Chanel adviced.
"We can move on and so should you."
"I'm sorry." Brian stuttered.
"Don't be. Don't be sorry for what other people have done to you."