HEAL

Chapter Three

   
(unedited)

   Aaisha was in the call room after a stressful day at work. She was browsing through her phone when she stumbled upon a Facebook group where Muslim reverts share stories of their journey of conversion to lslam.
      One post was about how a young British atheist interest in Islam sparked after listening to the Adhan (Muslim call to prayer) for the first time in a local mosque and how he felt a particular calmness whilst listening to the Adhan. He became attached to the mosque after that because he longed for the calmness that always descended on him when the Adhan is being called or when Qur’an is recited and from frequenting the mosque and making acquaintances with Muslims; he got to know that the Islam they were practicing was different from what he had known all his lives; of men in big turbans shooting bombs and ignorant women in veils. He found love, companionship and most of all; he found peace and he eventually became a Muslim.
   Aaisha's journey to converting to Islam was quite interesting and like the British brother she would always thank Allah for the day she got exposed to the beauty Islam.
     It all started in her hostel during undergraduate her days when she heard Sister Sarah talk to her roommate about Islam being a religion that best protects women's right.
    She was not usually the one to get into arguments about religion but what Sister Sarah said that day ignited fury in her. At that time, she had always been finding the opportunity to vent out her disgust at Islam for permitting polygamy.
   "If truly Islam is a religion that protects the rights of women, how come that Muslim women are made to pray behind men in mosques and what about the issue of Muslim men allowed to marry as much as four wives?”.
"God's favor, you in support of gender equality right?” Sister Sarah asked.
"Of course I am, women should have their rights as much as men does and this what you Muslims need to adopt."
"So you believe that women can do exactly everything men does?"
"Yeah obviously!” She hates it when Sister Sarah gets quizzical.
"Gender equity is what Islam preaches, men have their rights on women and so does women have rights on men as well.” Sister Sarah said evenly.
She scrunched her eyebrows, she had no idea what Sister Sarah was talking about. "I don't get what you are saying."
   "Okay, let me set an example, do you know that Muslim women are to keep their fathers name even after marriage?".
    Sister Sarah words hitted her. At that time, she had a strong feminist view and had always disliked the idea of how after marriage, she let go of her name and adopt a man’s name; to her not allowing a woman to keep her name is in itself an act of subjugating women and hearing that Islam actually supported this view took her off guard but she wasn't ready to let Sister Sarah win that easily, so she said; “If Muslim women were not supposed to change their name after marriage, why is it that some Muslim women still to that?"
     She heard Sister Sarah said something Arabic which she translated to; “The Qur'an has beautiful stated that there is no compulsion in religion".
   "And going back to the position of women in Islam,” Sister Sarah continued. “There is a whole chapter in the Qur'an named after women and there a lots of women mentioned in the Qur'an for their unwavering faith, like Mary the mother of Jesus; Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him."
     This made her angry; “Jesus is not a Prophet of Allah! Get that through your brain”. She said through gritted teeth.
    Sister Sarah glanced at her roommate before packing her books and said; “we should probably stop here; we will have this conversation some other time."
       They discussed about the rights of women in Islam some other day, had more conservations and sometimes arguments on religious matter that it became a daily routine.
    It turns out that Sister Sarah was an eloquent speaker or maybe she was probably not, but the stark truth in her words every time they had their discussions on religion made her thoughts and beliefs all jumbled up that most times she ended up snapping at Sister Sarah.
     Her curiosity about Islam heightened so much that she started attending Islamic lectures organized in campus and had download the Qur'an app so as to not make Sister Sarah the only source of her getting Islamic knowledge. Even though she was still a Christian at that time, she found herself slowly getting away from Christianity and drifting more to Islam. She had begun to think of how her life would be changed if she accepted Islam and had even fancied wearing the Hijab.
     Her interest in Islam was so obvious that people kept asking her when she would finally take the Shahadah, she had also been asking herself that question but she knew what was keeping her from taking the Shahadah and that was fear; the fear of her parent’s reaction, the fear of backlash from her friends and the fear of the new life that awaits her was what was keeping her from accepting Islam.
    But on the day of her induction when she read a verse from Suratul-Anbiyah, “Surely this Islam is your religion, one religion(only), and I am your Lord, therefore serve Me.”
It felt as if Allah was speaking directly to her, a sign from Him was all what she needed.
***
   He stared at his phone screen for the hundredth time, all he needed was the courage to tap on her name to give her a call but he was too ashamed. Ever since he left home he hadn't even tried calling her, his excuse, of course was that he had been busy.
     Now, broke and penniless because virtually all his money had gone to paying the fee for the several medical tests he was asked to take at the hospital and bribing his way out of Bala; his place of assignment was a small primary school and he was seeking to get a transfer to the city.
     He was also “depressed"(according to the doctor) and she was the only person he could reach out to, so he tapped her name and waited for her to pick the call.
   She picked it up after a few rings and the first thing she said was; “I think I’m getting close to my grave, my son remembered me today."
    Although his mother was apparently joking, he still felt bad, he had not been a good son, he never calls his mother at will except when he is in a financial constraint.
     He didn't reply to his mother's dry joke but rather he said; “How are you doing Mama?"
   "I'm feeling absolutely fine after hearing from you, how are you also doing?".
    He had just planned to ask his mother for some money and keep every other things troubling him away from her.
"I'm alright” He said flatly.
   "I’m not sure you are alright, your voice doesn’t sound that good and you just gave a me a call after almost three months since we last talked. What is wrong son?". Her simple question was just what it takes for him to spill out everything; the details of every single nightmare, his abrupt mood changes and how he ended up in a hospital unconsciously. 
  His Mother was silent all through as he narrated everything that he had been going through and he was glad she didn't interrupt. In an odd way, he felt himself get a bit better as he finally gets to talk to someone about his ordeal.
   "Were you given any medications at the hospital?”. His mother said in a low voice after he stopped talking.
  "Yes, the drugs have only been making me sleep more heavy and deeper so much that I don’t have nightmares anytime I use them but besides that nothing else has changed.
   His mother was silent for a while and said; “I will send you some money, make sure to take the drugs regularly, I believe they will eventually work."
   Her promise lightened up his mood and he thanked his mother and was about to end the call when his mother said;
"But you will need to come home as soon as possible.”