Sails and Styles (Completed)

Chapter 11

I struggle to get myself together enough to face him again. It's a much more difficult task than I thought it would be a few hours ago. I should never have flipped this switch inside of me and let me feel all these things for him. They wash over me again and again like the tide. Each new wave bringing more distress than the last. It's overwhelming. After a few minutes, I figure that it's not going to get any better and I might as well just see him, so I open my door and come out. He is sitting at the table waiting for me.

Before he can say anything, I speak first.

"Can I make you one last breakfast?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

I rummage around the kitchen and get cooking. Out of habit I flick on the radio and immediately wince at the memory of us dancing last night. I finish cooking and sit at the table with him to eat.

"When's your flight?"

"It's at ten."

"So, you have a little bit of time?"

"A little, yeah."

"I want to show you something."

"Okay."

"We have to take the inflatable."

"Alright."

We finish eating and I place our dishes in the sink. We get onto the dock and I hand Harry a collar life jacket and put one on myself. We always tow a small inflatable boat with a little engine, whenever we go on long sailing trips. I climb inside the inflatable and Harry gets in after me. I untie us from the dock and start the engine quickly and head out into the open water. Harry goes between looking at me and looking at the water in regular intervals never staying focused on one too long. I don't mind his gaze today and actually bask in it. I enter a small cove that would seem just like any other but one that I am very familiar with. I slow the engine to an idle.

"It's beautiful," he says breaking the quiet.

"This is my family's favourite anchor spot. This is where we would hide away by ourselves most summers. This is where I learned to tie knots. This is where I learned to float on my back. This is where I swung on that rope swing for the first time."

His eyes meet mine as he realizes I'm finally opening up to him. Telling him all the things I should have been telling him for the past few days, when I was too scared to be vulnerable with him. But someone needs to know before I lose this newfound sense of courage. 

"If my close my eyes real tight and breathe in deeply, I can almost smell the scent of carrot cake coming from the oven. Today would have been her birthday."

His eyes never leave mine and the only sound is the dull hum of the motor.

"My mom is British. She lived in London when she met my dad. He was there for work. She was working at a restaurant on a golf course. My dad was supposed to go golf with clients and missed his round to talk to my mom. He nearly got fired for it. He was brave that day."

"My parents called each other every Sunday for a month. Then one day my mom packed her things in a single suitcase and moved to Vancouver to be with my dad. She was brave that day." 

"Before the accident, I had decided to quit my teaching job at the end of the year and pursue music full-time. I was brave that day." I pause for a second before continuing. "After the accident, I didn't think I'd be able to follow through with it. That I should maybe just stick to safe choices. But you...well you've made me remember that taking risks can lead to something great."

"This is where we were going to anchor for the rest of your time. I was looking at a map yesterday of this spot. It's called Harold's Cove. I didn't even know that until then. Seems fitting."

I look at my watch.

"We should go."

Harry doesn't speak through any of this but to be fair I never give him a chance to. I increase the speed and we head back to the outstation. It doesn't take long to get there. I tie the inflatable to the dock and Harry holds his hand out to help me out. We hear a loud sound overhead and see the float plane approaching.

"You better go."

"Maggie. Thank you... for everything. It really was a trip of a lifetime."

"No, thank you. You taught me how to be brave again."

He reaches for me and pulls me into him, and I hold him back squeezing tightly. Not letting go until I feel him start to release me.

"Goodbye Maggie."

"Goodbye Harry."

I watch as he walks over to the seaplane dock and greets the pilot. Before getting in he turns and waves at me and I wave back. I watch as the plane motors along the water before taking off into the air. I don't even realize I'm crying until I feel the tears drop off my face. I wipe them away quickly and climb back on my boat. I quickly start to get things ready to leave. If I stay still too long, I know this pain is going to envelope me. I have to keep moving.

When I finally push off from the dock, I don't even put up any sails. I decide I only have energy for motoring today. I'm not headed too far anyways. Just a little cove around the corner. It now has a name.

I get there in no time and drop my anchor. The blue sky of the last week has been replaced by dark grey clouds and it feels fitting for my mood.  I decide a swim is a good idea to wash this pain away and I switch into my swimsuit. I dive off the swim grid at the back of the boat and come up to the surface. My mind immediately flashes back to that first day of floating in the water and Harry watching me. And then of making the rope swing with him and racing him to the boat. Just like that, I'm crying again. I swim quickly to the ladder and hastily wrap my towel around my body, not bothering to rinse off the ocean water. I go down below and straight to Harry's berth. I pause only for a split second before climbing into his bed and am immediately met by his scent and I can't hold it together anymore. The tears flow quickly, and I can feel myself sobbing into the blankets. I don't know how long it lasts before sleep overtakes me.