Lord Liverchester

Chapter 6

(back to Lawrence)

Consciousness had abandoned me for quite some time. I really only slept, but every time I woke up I was terrified. The sleep was pleasant, easily the best I ever got. I dreaded being awake and every movement had me in the worst panic. The world was white and I was blind. Nothing was familiar and I couldn't feel anything but cold. Being awake made me feel like I was dead so I held onto sleep as much as I could. I wasn't aware of any of my surroundings for a long time, not even able to hear voices until a certain point. I was only aware of one thing, that Dorian wasn't with me anymore. I was sure he had been killed or taken away. I remembered where we had been going but not why. In my scrambled brain we were kids again and just trekking through the woods for fun. Every time consciousness came back to me, I yelled out for Dorian. I shrieked as loud as possible, trying to get my point across that I wanted him. Once I thought I heard him and felt him there, but then the feeling was gone. I was so close to waking up but when I didn't hear him anymore I kept sleeping. Maybe it wasn't really sleep but something in between. Whatever it was, it was heavy and wouldn't let go. It got worse hours in, and likely because of drugs they gave me. I couldn't feel anything anyway, my brain refusing to work at all.

I knew at one point that I was nearing the end, struggling to breathe and feeling even weaker. I could hear my own heartbeat and it was slowing down. Just before it totally stopped I heard Dorian again. It all reversed, my body bringing itself back to life. I could feel things again, Dorian's massive hand holding mine. I could feel his rings and how warm his hands were. I could smell him, that strong familiar cologne. All of my senses were on high alert. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me, his eyes red and watery. I wanted to move, to sit up and hold him. Every movement made my head hurt and the room would spin. I felt horrible, like every part of my body had been eaten and thrown up by some kind of wild animal, or maybe several wild animals. It felt good to be awake anyway, to see Dorian. My heart became less of a tangled mess and my brain straightened itself out a little. I didn't want him to leave me but it was kind of the hospital's rules that guests stay away from patients at night. The lights went out and finally I could move and not get dizzy. I turned over onto my side and watched the doorway. Even if I had to wait hours, I really just wanted Dorian by my side again. While he was away sleeping, I hoped, I tried to make sense of what he said. I heard him mention the book and other things. I had to remember where we were when I got knocked out. It took me until nearly dawn to get my memory back. By then I remembered seeing Phin and what we were there for. I was so relieved that Dorian wasn't hurt badly. If he was, I couldn't tell. He looked great, dressed in such a beautiful black jacket with a red inner lining. I couldn't get him off my mind.

Finally when dawn came, he was back by my side again. The lights were all out still but the windows were open to let the sunshine in. It hurt my eyes so I tried to hide in the corner. It was a blessing that I was placed there. Dorian blocked out some of the light for me, sitting just so to shield my eyes. We discussed what would happen next, laying out the plan for the day. It would be easy on me, thankfully. We would just go back to his house and look at the book and the other stuff he found at the institute. There was something else he wasn't telling me, beating around the bush. It would have to wait until we were alone together. I respected that, nodding and closing my eyes. My head was hurting again, making me tense. Dorian didn't hesitate to reach a hand out to comfort me, his warm hand running down my back. I wanted to curl up on him and be warm; the bed was cold and hard. We stopped talking much and just spent time in each others company, which helped me a great deal. The whole world was different now, a wide open wound with no protection from infection. Dorian was the bandage that kept everything safe, soaking up the blood and stopping germs from entering. After a long silence, he leaned in and put his head close to mine and sang softly. Though it was very quiet, I heard what song it was. Still curled up, I reached a hand out to hold Dorian's. I really didn't feel like existing, just seeking the warmth to lay in it. He allowed me to do that, running his thumb over my knuckles. His hands felt so different when they were warm. They were soft and so inviting. The silver rings he wore weren't cold either, just as warm as he was. I wanted to stay with him like that forever, just in a more comfortable place.