Lord Liverchester

Chapter 10

The whole world seemed bizarrely familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, the sound I knew well swaying in and out of my ears. It was just me and Dorian but we were surrounded by so many people all at once, his voice and the sounds of his piano hitting all of us in different ways. I was overtaken by a wave of something I couldn't describe. I was being drowned by a dream, what was always buried in my memory in the Alternate. It showed itself in reality now, the orange lights and painfully beautiful notes. Dorian's mellifluous vocals had wrapped around my heart, tangling it in a web of loose fraying strands. Nobody else there knew just how important that moment was for me, how he effortlessly sang a song I was so sure he'd written for me. It was bittersweet to know he felt that way, how it was the only happy song he'd written. It stuck out from all the others, its melody upbeat and happy. In a nest of spiders, it was a beautiful butterfly. It came to him in a time when everything hadn't fallen apart completely, when we were too young to know the real world. When he was hit with real pain, perhaps he only perfected his craft. He wrote about what he knew best: love and death. His song for me was pure love, and that's why I loved it so much. It was a happy celebration for being in love. I felt those feelings now, the leaping in my heart and being so helplessly in love. I'd felt it before with Bennett and now I was feeling it again with Dorian. I wasn't ashamed to admit that, and I wasn't going to hide if Dorian knew it. Every note he sang, every word, my heart was lit on fire again and again. I was almost sure he was doing it on purpose now to drive me insane.

Between each song, Dorian spoke to everyone watching, thanking them for being there. He would take a drink of wine now, the glass sitting atop the piano. The songs almost seemed unplanned, taking some time to figure out what to play. Some were instrumental, just him showing off his skills. Some things I recognized from when he played at his home, the soundtrack while I danced with Novella. I gleefully remembered that night, how mysterious he was. I was shivering, maybe from the cold, or from emotions I was trying to hold onto as they fleeted past. I felt so many things all at once. There was love, joy, sadness, and so many other things. I was almost crying but nearly laughing all the same, hugging my knees to my chest. Before long, there was a presence near me. A dark shadow had crossed in front of my vision. I should have only been able to see Dorian and feel only his heartbeat. Something, someone, was beside me now. Where Dorian had been sitting across the table was this unknown entity. I couldn't see it clearly, in my own little world. I didn't dare leave my bubble, waiting for it to go away. It wasn't leaving, and I realized Dorian saw it too. He would look out at me, then at this black thing. It was a haze, floating in the air. It was neither threatening nor gentle, it was just there. I tried to ignore it, my heart soaring whenever Dorian made eye contact with me. He played a new song now, maybe made up on the spot. It was sad, but more so than the others. It was full of lyrics that broke my heart repeatedly, ripping my brain in half trying to figure out where they came from. It felt most like it had to do with that morning, like coming to terms with death. This was different from his other death songs, having an air of reality deeper than the rest. All along he'd been telling me not to worry about him, but now he couldn't make up his mind. My favorite part, the most heart shattering, went back and forth like that. That's when I started to cry. There were many reasons why I cried. The melody was so beautiful. The lyrics stung. More than anything, I knew now how deeply I was in love. There was no getting out of it. I was so screwed if I lost Dorian. He was now the only thing truly keeping me grounded. I felt the hazy thing beside me looking at me, maybe passing judgment. I wiped my eyes and pretended to be okay, but Dorian was still going on, nearly pleading. He was begging for somebody to keep him safe. I just kept whispering "I will, I will" over and over to myself. The thing heard me, I knew it did. I wouldn't let it ruin my night. I shifted in my seat, leaning forward more. Dorian softly thanked us at the end, taking a big drink of wine.

"This one is for my sister, out there amongst you all," he looked up. "Its also for my best friend. And for my wife too, what the hell."

He smiled, his eyes sparkling so gorgeously. My heart sighed, listening to every word and eating it up. It was a haunting song, a shorter one. Sometimes he hummed the melody, his voice low and loud enough to carry through the whole room. It shook everything around me, cradling my heart and keeping it safe from all the things I was afraid of. For just a little while I wasn't afraid of anything, finding ultimate solace in listening to Dorian belt out the sweetest sounds. It lasted more than a few minutes, lifting me up into a euphoric cloud. Had I ever felt that before? Not that I could recall. It was so perfect, the most beautiful moment of my life. The song was still sad and full of bothersome lyrics but despite that, I was at peace. Nothing could touch me, a net of love and protection keeping me off the ground and away from predators. All the time I was wondering how to do the same for Dorian, if it was possible. I was slowly put back down, but the warmth and safety didn't leave. When it was all coming to a close, Dorian had some final words to say to everyone.