Soft Spot (Jyatt)

Chapter twenty

Woah guys! Before I start this chapter I wanted to say thank you for all the support I've been given. When I logged onto Wattpad I saw that I had more than 3k reads on this book! I was just shocked. None of my other books have gotten this amount of love and I can't put how thankful I am in words. When I started this book I never would have thought I'd get so much reads. Okay, I know 3k is nothing compared to other stories but I'm still so proud and shocked. So keep reading, keep voting and keep commenting. I love the humor that you guys put into the comment section and I die laughing all the time. I love you guys so much and without you guys this book wouldn't be where it is right now. And the reason I haven't been active is because I'm a little stressed. I'm writing a story not on Wattpad but handwritten for an audition that I have with SOTA. School Of The Arts. I'm auditioning for creative writing and I rlly hope i get accepted. I'm so nervous but I promise I'll try my best to balance my time. Wish me luck and enjoy the chapter!

Jaeden

Why is it that my mind always seem to falter back here? The fire. My mother. There she was. Beautiful. She was wearing her favorite blue sundress with yellow sandals and a yellow hat with a blue ribbon. Why was she so dressed up. I looked down at myself. I was wearing simple clothes. Jeans and a hoodie. Classic Jaeden. I looked back up and the setting had changed. We were in some cheesy dance setup at school in the gymnasium. Balloons was littered everywhere along with confetti paper. Above up was a disco that spun slowly casting bright lights along the dance floor. Purple and blue lights hung from the roof and walls providing extra light. There were snack tables and a punch bowl. Kids laughed, danced, and talked all around us. I felt my heart speed up as my palms grew sweaty. My anxiety increased and I gulped. I looked down at my feet and was a little startled to see that I had changed. I was wearing something fancy like the kids surrounding us. Black khakis, a button up white shirt, a jacket that was left open and a bow tie. I looked over at mom and she too changed. She had her hair curled now, a white dress that stopped below her knees. The dress didn't stick to her body but the bottom curved was kind of puffy. She had white heels and white jewels dangled from her ears and hung around her neck. She looked so beautiful. I felt my eyes water as I made my way over. As I got closer I realized that she hadn't changed a bit. "Mom?" I said. I saw that she was tearing up too. "Jaeden." She responded. I pulled her into a hug and shook as I cried. "Oh mom, I've missed you for so long." I cried. She rubbed my back. "Me too."

I sat up, tears streaming down my face. I looked around Wyatt's room. I felt my chest heave. I have nights like this the time but it's been awhile. I've had dreams where I see my mom again and feel so happy and start crying tears of joy then in the best part I wake up and am hurt with the sudden struck of truth that she's not really there. And I spend so much time crying.

I felt arms wrap around me and turned my head to see Wyatt. I let him wrap his arms around me and pull me close so that I was resting against his chest. His warmth calmed me down. "Shh, it's okay. It was only a dream. It wasn't real." He tried to comfort me but it kinda made me feel worse.

"That's the problem." I whispered. "What do you mean?" He asked as he stroked my hair. I didn't lift my head off his chest just looked up into his eyes. "I wish it was. But it wasn't."

He nodded and I looked back down and he continued to stroke my hair. "What was it?" He asked genuinely. "My mom." I answered. His fingers slowed to a slow stroke. "Okay." He said.

I hesitated before hugging him. His eyes widened in surprise and he looked confused and unsure of what to do. "Just hug back." I whispered. He hesitated before hugging back and that's what happened. We stood there hugging. I melted into his warmth and got butterflies. They fluttered around in my stomach and I felt my cheeks burn a bright pink. "It's like......I wish it was real." I said. "I love to see her. I do. It's like she creeps into my dreams, and it feels like it's real and I enjoy her presence and we talk and hug but then I wake up and i'm crushed by reality. She's gone." I explained.

"And it hurts so much. I remember at her funeral I couldn't build up the strength to walk up to her casket. I didn't want to see what the fire did to her beautiful face. Everybody kept coming up to me and saying they were sorry as if it was their fault. But it wasn't. It wasn't. It was mine. And I didn't want to admit it." I rambled. "And I couldn't. I just couldn't see her. And I'm standing in the back and in my head I'm begging her to wake up. That she needs to wake up. That I can't live without her. But nothing happened."

"I know. It's hard losing someone important to you. Especially if you blame yourself but sometimes it's best to move on. Not forget, I would never say that, but move on. When it happens it's gonna hurt and it's gonna  sting for awhile. It's okay to sit around and cry for awhile. But you can't let something you can't control break you. It's not worth it. And if your mom was here, would she want you to grieve the way you do? Would she want you to lose everything to anxiety? To have panic attacks just when you smell smoke? I don't think so. But it's okay to be sad sometimes but it's another story when your sad all the time. When smiling becomes rare. When you are constantly having nightmares. I understand, I do. It's quicker for someone to get through something than for them to get over it. But you have to move on. Look at it this way, life is like a book. You can't move on and finish the book if you keep on re-reading the last chapter."

I smiled into his chest, thankful he couldn't see my red cheeks. We sat in silence.

"Did you go through something like this? Is that why you're so familiar with it?" I asked. His body tensed and he let out a heavy breath. "Y-yes." He stuttered. Wait.......Wyatt Oleff stutters? That's a bad sign so I won't ask anymore. "Let's get some sleep." He suggested. I nodded and we laid down, him spooning me.

"Goodnight Jae."

I turned around so that I was curled up into his chest. "Goodnight Wy." I whispered and looked up into his eyes.

They were a creamy chocolate brown and I looked away, afraid I would get lost in them. But after like 10 seconds I looked back up into them. He was staring back into mine. I cuddled closer and laid my head against his chest. I listened to his soft heartbeat and like a lullaby it sent me to sleep.