Forever Changing

Flower / She Appeared

(Originally written on April 17th, 2019, then edited and posted on December 5th)

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she appeared in my thoughts a fraction of the day before (surprisingly),

then returned abruptly in my dreams

almost practically nightmares -

i felt the same bad feeling

almost a week since we last talked,

is it some sign?

why can i never truly escape the flower?..

the imagery? the self-insecure, loathing memories?

people have changed, people have not changed

the old group from then, is the same,

just in a different form, with fresh new attitudes and jokes,

and i never forget that

if anyone has, they're only the same because it's not been proven otherwise

prove me otherwise,

or get out

i'll push you out, push you away

go on, then

take your dreams with you,

let go of mine,

take your distractions away

never mind, i will

"give them a chance" there's been too many

may be easy to show up and talk,

may be easy to decide to do what's best for yourself

what's really best?

i know it's not this,

so i'll go

(for now)

she.. she appeared in my thoughts a fraction of the day before,

then returned abruptly in my dreams (surprisingly)

she flirted with me, acted all kindly, sweet

the familiar charismatic, charming, hiding the deeper-core flower

it felt strange,

it felt strange

so did our last few conversations

i don't want to relive last week, i already lived it

that was enough for me

i'm better without her, (i am) (i will be)

she's better without me, (no she's not) (she will be)

so let's give that a chance

a chance longer, this time

goodbye flower