Windsurfing Moments

Planing

I drag my board out to where I can get a clear launch out without hitting the dock. I hop up on my board and grab the up haul. The cold wet cloth covered bungee in my hand. "This is my chance" I think as I take a deep breath and hook it into my harness. Leaning back a bit I pull the sail up slowly because of the wind. Watching this new being raise out of the water. Almost a friend that I have always known. I get it up to the point where I can grab the boom. I slowly put the sail to a point where if I were to sheet it in just a bit I could get going fast. But yet I just stand here, taking it all in. The wind in my face, the grip under my feet, the boom in my hand. Just the peace of this. I slowly move to the back of the board sheeting in ever so slightly. Watching the clew come in just a bit. Nervous that I will not be able to hold on. I take a deep breath and sheet in my sail. Like the swift flap of an eagles wings. So smooth, it just sweeps across the water as if nothing could go wrong. It all happens so fast. You have to sheet in and then it takes off. You holding on, just letting it guide you yet still in control. You have to hook into the harness and lean out. All you weight trusted in this rig.p, just letting you be cradled there. The feeling is indescribable. Your heart is racing out of your chest. But it isn't bad. It is amazing. It is like you are underwater but not drowning. Just, peaceful. You slide back so that your feet are on the pads of the board. You keep the sail sheeted in. Keeping the weight that is in the harness there. Sometimes, when the wind starts to die you have to unhook from the harness and and gently pump the sail. Keeping power in the sail. Popping the leech ever so slightly. But, this is not the case here. The wind is strong enough to hold me, cradle me and keep me going. I keep my weight in the harness. I want to stay in and slide into the foot straps. So, I move back on the board. Keeping the sail steady. I position my feet so they are directly in front of the foot straps. I know that the next step is to just slide my foot in the front foot strap. So simple yet, this motion is unbearable. But, you just have to brave the movement. You just have to pick up your front foot and slide it in. I need to just brave it and do it. So, I hold my grip on the boom. Tightening it ever so slightly. I pick up my front foot, barely off the board and brush it ever so slightly on the front foot strap. As if to reassure that it is there to hold me. That it is there to support me through the next thing that is about to take place. I lift my foot even more and pull it back to slide it in the foot strap. It couldn't be more relieving the feeling of my foot just sliding into the foot strap. It is my support system. My therapy. This is where I have always wanted to be. It is as if I am stepping into the home that I have always known. This is where I belong. Then it is time for the final step. The final place that I need to be. This is where I will find salvation. This is where I will be safe and at home. I am able to hold my grip on the boom and stay balanced. I slowly move my foot so that it is almost on top of the back foot strap. This part just makes my heart race. This could go terribly wrong but it could save me from life itself. I now have to brave the foot strap. I have to brave this next step. It's funny, this little piece of foam and fabric can be so terrifying but yet so rewarding. You would never see this terrifying u til you have to slide your foot under it when going at a speed of like 15 knots. You are the thing that is in control yet you feel so out of control, just putting your foot under this little piece of cloth and foam. But, st this point I need to just do it. I need to take a leap of faith. This is the moment. This is the time. This is when I need to accomplish what I have been working so hard for. I just go for it. I pick my back foot up, all while hold the sail and being in control, and slip it under the back foot strap. It's almost a dance. You have to balance the rig while being ever so light on your feet. You have to get by with out being noticed. But, the feeling of having your feet under the foot straps and your harness hooked into the harness lines is more then enough to put me at peace. I seem to forget all of my worries and just smile. It doesn't matter what is cluttered in my mind, I'm just able to leave it in my wake and live.