Trochilidae

Epilogue

It's been months since I last saw you.

Several days have passed, and yet, I still couldn't seem to get over you. To get over the fact that you are now gone. It's been months, and I miss you so much. Your smile. Your warmth. Your presence. Ever since your departure, my heart had just felt so numb, and I never felt so empty in my life.

After you left, I called your mom to tell her about the news, and just waiting for her to answer the phone was painful, for the wound in my heart had deepened. When I finally told her with your dad, your parents broke down into tears over the phone. I could hear your mom sobbing when I broke out the news. I was able to catch your dad crying, as well. Though it wasn't as loud as your mother's cry, it was still disheartening to hear the weeps of your parents over your passing.

Even after you left, I couldn't seem to leave you. Whether it was because of our unspoken vow or the fear of facing our friends again, I'm not sure. But the one thing that I was certain about was that our friends wouldn't be happy to hear the news.

I remember that when I found out about our disease, we came to an agreement that none of our friends should know about it, no matter what. No matter how much I was against it, I complied and kept it a secret because you didn't want them to know. You didn't want them to worry. However, I know that it was only right to tell them about your passing, that you died of cancer, even if it meant that they would hate me for life.

The next day when I came back to school, I felt so anxious because I was scared of what their reaction would be. I was mentally preparing myself for the shock and the betrayal that they would express when I tell them the truth. However, the universe decided to be cruel to me as I accidentally stumbled upon them in the halls.

I remembered how they looked at me with broad smiles, how they ran to me excitedly. I tried to fake a smile and converse with them casually, but when they asked when you were coming back, I almost remained silent as my heart cracked yet again.

Hyuka told me that they missed you a lot. Heck, they even took multiple selfies to see if you would sense it so that you would be summoned. So they found it strange that you weren't around whenever they did so.

I wanted to shrug the topic off for the meantime so that I could prepare further. I wanted to somehow avoid the topic during that time so that I can gather up my strength. However, Niagara falls decided to present itself to them. So when they saw the tears streaming down my face, they got worried and asked me what was wrong.

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to tell them yet.

But I told them.

I told them everything. I said that we've been lying to them for several months. That you didn't go on a vacation, but you were in the hospital, suffering from lung cancer. I apologized to them in tears, telling them that you weren't coming back to school.

I told them that you were never coming back.

When I mustered the courage to face them again, I could see the tears streaming down their faces. I could read the utter shock and betrayal clearly through their expressions, and it was just what I expected. They didn't know how to respond to this. They didn't know what to say about it. But, one thing's for sure, I know that they were in grief over this news.

After some crying and sobbing, Soobin decides to speak up, reluctantly saying that they forgive me for not telling them sooner. However, Taehyun seemed to be the most upset, practically shouting at me for not telling them the truth earlier.

It was my first time to see Taehyun so angry, so upset, and so betrayed. It was shocking when he exploded at me, but could I blame him? After hiding the truth for several months, I only know that this was karma—that what I have done couldn't be forgiven immediately.