Before The Snow Falls | Holiday Novella

The Friend-Zoned

Ithaca, New York

2019

"Well, that was..."

"Underwhelming," Hale finished for me.

I agreed. "Nora's reply was not very promising for my dear old relative, Felix Graham."

"Oh, so you've decided he is your relative now?" Hale teased, and I looked up to see his dimpled grin just inches from my own smile. His arm was still wrapped around me. For a moment, I could almost imagine that this was what we were always like.

Well, I suppose that it wasn't uncommon for Hale to put an arm around me. He had done it before, but always in times of comfort. Or because there was some reason or another—not just because he wanted to. It's never been like that.

Of course not.

But I could imagine it was. Though sometimes that almost ruined my mood, shining a blaring light on the hidden truth—the hidden truth of how I felt and how it didn't matter.

Hale's smile had faltered slightly, and I realized that I hadn't replied yet. "Well, guilty until proven innocent, right? We can assume he is my relative until we know otherwise," I said.

"Sounds reasonable." Hale nodded as faced forward again, looking away from me. A little breath escaped that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

Trying to think of something to say that would fill the short distance of space between Hale and me, I thought again about Nora. Her guy friend was definitely not interested in only being companions. And either she wasn't as in love as I had initially thought, or she was blowing it and didn't even realize.

"Felix might end up sliding deep into the friend zone," I said after considering it.

I felt, more than heard, Hale's breathy chuckle as it blew across my hair and tickled the back of my ear. He must have turned his head toward me again, and I forced myself to continue looking forward. I didn't need to see his face to know that his eyes were bright. Sparkling with humor.

Hale groaned a little, and I could practically feel the rumble it emitted. "Your poor, dear, great-great-great-grandfather Felix. Being friend-zoned is the worst."

It truly was, I thought to myself. But Hale's tone had a touch of laughter in it, so instead of agreeing with him, I teased, "Oh really? Personal experience, huh?" And without thinking of the consequences, I twisted toward him. His face was mere inches from my own, and his eyes...his eyes weren't twinkling with amusement the way I thought they would be. They were dark, searching my face intently. 

I every flick, every movement they made. 

And I wasn't cold any more.

"Well, haven't we all been friend-zoned at least once in our lives, Lana?" he asked, his head tilting to the side as he considered me.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I replied lightly, "Probably. It happened to me once in, like, sixth grade."

It was a half-truth. It had begun in the sixth grade, and it had never really stopped. I would forever be in the friend zone with Hale.

I smiled up at him, but he was just looking at me curiously, as if trying to figure out who I was talking about. I was waiting, breathless, for him to say something and hoping he didn't ask the question that I couldn't answer.

But then, all he said was, "Actually, I don't think we have to worry about Felix. Why would the letters be stored away together like this if Felix and Nora hadn't ended up as a couple?"

Glancing down at my hands, I ignored a slight twinge of disappointment at the change in topic. Even though I should have known better than to expect Hale to say anything else. "That's a good point," I mumbled.

Hale abruptly stood then, his arm slipping from around my shoulders. Clearing his throat, he said, "I have to use the bathroom."

I watched as he walked away, sliding across the floor in his stocking feet again. When he ducked around the corner of the kitchen, I heard the bathroom door click shut. Exhaling deeply, I threw my head back against the couch cushions. Reading these letters from Felix and Nora was messing with my emotions.

For years, I had been shoving down my feelings for Hale. I hadn't felt this flutter in my chest for the longest time, but something about today was making my heart go haywire.

It was irritating. I like things that I can predict, such as mathematical patterns or how the sun rises and sets at precisely the expected time every day. I don't like the uncertainty of the sky before it snows or the way that my heart beats faster when my best friend walks into the room. Or across it. Or anywhere near me at all.

I'm sure it just had to do with reading love notes; they would make anyone feel a touch romantic. After today, things would go back to normal.

Hale appeared around the corner, but instead of coming back to the couch, he walked to the window. Peering through my cream-colored curtains, he pressed his nose to the glass. "Isn't it suppose to snow today?"

I nodded and then realized that he couldn't see me. "Yeah," I said. "That's why I came back from my parent's early."

"Are we supposed to get a lot?"

"Just a few inches, I think." It probably would have been fine to drive back in it, but I always erred on the side of caution when it came to snowy roads.

Hale sighed lightly, still looking out the window. I wasn't sure what he was looking at. There wasn't much out there—just a parking lot, a small park, and the side of the apartments next to us. "I should go back to see my parents soon," he said. "I haven't seen them in almost two months."

"Well you're going back for Christmas, right? Why don't we ride together?" Hale's childhood home was less than a mile from my own.

He glanced at me and smiled. "That sounds good. I hate to admit it, but I kind of miss Hayden. It will be good to see the kid for the holidays."

Hayden was his little brother, who was not really a kid anymore. He was in his freshman year of high school. Or it might be his sophomore year; I couldn't remember.

"Well, you'll see him soon enough. Only twenty more days 'til Christmas," I said cheerily.

"What day do you think you'll be able to get away from work to head upstate?" he asked, turning away from the window and leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Christmas is on a Wednesday this year, so I was hoping to take the whole week off."

"Perfect," Hale replied, nodding. "The campus library will be closed that week anyway, so I might as well stay at my parent's. Especially if you're not going to be in Ithaca. What would I even do here?"

I laughed, knowing that he would definitely find something to do. Hale was sociable. He seemed to make friends everywhere he went, and he especially had a lot of friends from work. I wasn't quite as outgoing as he was, hence my love of Netflix—and fictional characters whose lives I got too emotionally attached to.

Thinking about being too emotionally connected to other people's lives, I grabbed the next letter from the coffee table.

"You ready to see how Felix reacted to being friend-zoned?"

Hale crossed over to the living room in two quick strides.

"Definitely."