The Story I Wrote Because Someone Forced Me To And Threatened To Rape My Door

chapter 4: wooden trees

I just realized trees are made out of wood and that makes no sense at all.

The first time I went to school I was twelve years old. My feet were warm, but the teachers didn't mind. "To have warm feet is to eat cucumber." The brave butcher told as if he had just seen a twelve inch nail dance a jolly 1920's dance.
Many children have decided to be decisive, but only few have eaten a carrot. This tells a lot about the world we live in.
In the following part i will talk in a lanuguage i made up, so i can get more content without content.

~Learsi ,kajr, si ,enie, a ,wken, etamitigel etats, hjonk.~

The part was shorter than i expected, but i thing i did get my message through.

I was seven when my cousin broke up with me. She didn't want to be my cousin anymore, she said while suffering from an epilepsy attack. I started crying, and walked away while blue soup poured out of her wonderfully shaped school buildings.
I cried the whole week. How could she unfamily me and suffer from an attack in the same minute. Has she no heart?
I decided not to speak to her anymore. I didn't have that much speaking cells, and i would not waste them on someone so heartless and greyish green with a scent of gasoline.
Yet, a week later, my foolishness was exposed. The cousin whom i loved so much did indeed not have a heart. *that's not an English sentence is it?*

"we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed."

The previous quote is not at all related to the paragraph above it, that would be fucked.

Shortly after the discovery of my cousins empty heart chamber we had a big meal with the part of my family that never ate their eyebrows.

+what even is sauerkraut+

I remember going on a holiday to Bulgaria. That's like a country in Asia or something. It smelled like sausage and netflix. Sausage and netflix. Heh.
The country was made up from a trash compactor, 12 empty beer bottles, exactly 3 1/45 tramps, fifteen study books from Bangladesh, a friendship between a piece of cheese and Freddie Mercury and sixteen pairs of socks each decorated with salmon tongues.
The exact second our aircraft landed i started crying and screaming "COCKROACHES ARE JUST COCKS AND ROACHES" Elvis Presley slapped me in my face, and started singing dixieland rock. This caused the aircraft to spin uncontrollably, and we crashed into the soggy Bulgarian parliament.

The rest of the holidays were just screaming and pooping blood 

Besides, i had twelve three inch nails for lunch.