I'm fine: Depression quotes and poems

135.

I feel like I'm being pulled by darkness and the light. Both trying to win me over. And one of them is gonna win. Sometimes I go for the light. Sometimes I'm letting everything go. At least, I think I do. But then I didn't let go and I'm surrounded by darkness again. Sometimes I don't mind the darkness. I feel comfortable in it. I feel like I'm home. I know If I'm choosing the light I'm gonna have to change my entire lifestyle. I'd have to let go of the only music I like, just because it pulls me down. When I'm happy I'm extremely happy and when I'm down I get so depressed. It's getting worse everyday. I'm emphatic and sympathetic, which is hard to live with. It makes me care and feel even more, when all I want is not to care at all. I've been clean for a few months now, but this morning I really needed to cut myself. Just because it feels so good. I didn't (because I was at work), but the feeling didn't go away. And I'm just fighting not to grab that knife, because when I do, I'm not sure if I can put it down again. And right now I'm listening to this song, goes like this: ''Don't let the world tear us apart. Don't live a lie, don't break a heart. Don't compromise just wait''. And I realize, maybe that's what I need to do. Hold on a little longer and wait. Wait for the light to win me over. I know it will. I know It'll take a while either. I'm too stubborn to give in to anything. I'm living by my own rules. My own standards and values. And I need to let that go. I need to become less stubborn for the light to succeed. I know this is only 1 thing I need to do out of a thousand. But it's a start.