Nick Jonas's New Assistant

Part Ten

It has been a few weeks playing this back and forth game with Nick. I have stood my ground, but it hasn't been easy. Some days it's so fucking hard and other day's everything is normal, and it doesn't end terribly. Regardless of that going on personally, everything professionally has been going great. I've been working extra hard to show him and everyone that I can do this job. I especially want to show Nick that I care about him and his career, and I can do my job and do it well despite the stuff personally between us, and I really do think he sees that which is nice. The last few weeks have been difficult, but they flew by and now tomorrow, we leave for tour.

I am excited but also so fucking terrified. I am staying on the bus with everyone, which I know will be so much fun, but these past few weeks have been filled with pretty much everyone telling me how stressful it is. I feel like I can handle it, I really do, but I just don't want to fuck it up. Not only that, but I am going to be spending the next few months on a tour bus with Nick, which when I look at it as spending months traveling the country with my best friend it's great, but then when I look at it as spending months traveling the country with the person I am hopelessly in love with but can't let know it despite him endlessly trying to get me to say it, it sounds horrible. Regardless, I am going to try my best to go into it with a positive attitude.

George had picked me up about 20 minutes ago and helped me load my bags into the car before we headed off to Nick's. I decided I wanted to stay the night with him at his house. I was planning on staying at my apartment and meeting him in the morning, but my nerves were really getting to me, and despite everything going on he is my best friend and I really just need someone there to help get me out of my head right now. Once we pull up to Nick's he comes outside, I thank George with a tight hug before helping Nick to grab my bags. Once we are inside I drop the bags in my hands and plow myself into Nick's body, my arms wrapping tightly around him and my face burying into his strong test. I could tell he was caught off guard, but I hear the bags he has be set onto the ground before his arms are wrapping themselves around me, swallowing me up.

"Are you okay?" He speaks softly

I nod and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before I respond. I keep my arms around him tightly. "I'm okay, I'm just... scared. I don't want to fuck this up." My words are muffled slightly, since I kept my head buried into him.

He squeezes me tighter. "Listen to me (Y/N), you are wonderful at your job, I know you can handle this. You can do it, I promise."

His words are so comforting. They are words I really needed to hear right now. The combination of his reassurance and how safe I feel wrapped up into him calm my nerves down enough that I pull my head from his chest, looking up at him but still keeping my arms around his body. I speak quietly, "Thank you, I needed this."

He grins at me, giving me another squeeze before he presses his lips sweetly to my forehead. "Listen, I am here for you. This is what friends are for."

The kiss catches me off guard, he has done a lot of things over these few weeks to try and get me to break, but never this. I am thankful for that in this moment because that kiss almost sent me over the edge. It's like I could feel his love pushing into me through his lips and I wanted to melt into him right then and there. Normally when I start feeling like this I pull myself away from him, find any excuse to be as far from him as I can, but tonight I can't. Tonight, I don't even want to.

I give him a smile and I can tell he is surprised I didn't immediately run away, but he looks grateful that I didn't. I do finally unwrap my arms from his body and step back, but just a little bit, my eyes dart over to the clock, its only 10:30pm.

"Movie night?" I look up at him, asking sweetly.

He smiles back at me with a nod, "Movie night."

Before I even get a chance to do anything else I am lifted off of my feet and thrown over his shoulder with ease, a laugh erupts from me as I was not expecting it at all, playfully wiggling my legs.

"Oh gosh please don't drop me." I say between laughs.

He laughs right back, shaking his head and letting his arm squeeze me just a little bit tighter. "I won't drop you, I promise." He speaks as we make our way up the stairs.

Once we reach the landing his finally puts me down. "You can change, and I'll put a movie on in my room."

I nod in agreeance and turn on my heels to head into the guest room, I have a few pairs of pajamas and extra clothes here, it's been a life saver more times than not. Usually our movie nights are in the living room, although Nick has suggested them in his room more times than I can count, I usually shut him down. But again, tonight I don't even want to. I slip on a pair of my pajama shorts and a comfy t-shirt before making my way into Nick's room. He is on his bed in just a pair of sweatpants (more clothes than I was expecting to see, to be honest) and he has his TV remote, scrolling through Netflix.

Nick's room is gorgeous, its huge and his bed is the focal point, so big and honestly so comfortable. I make my way to it, sliding in beside him and pulling the covers up over me a bit, just covering my legs. I sink into the mattress with bliss. It's going to suck later when I have to leave to head to the guest room. I would much rather stay but I don't trust myself or Nick enough to do that. But I decide to keep that to myself, not telling him I'm going to leave later, I just want to enjoy this right now.

He finally settles on a movie. It's a cute little romantic comedy (he knows they are my guilty pleasure) that I haven't heard of, but I'm excited to watch.

"is this okay?" he asks, turning to me.

I nod with a smile and scoot just a little closer to him, I had stayed pretty close to the edge, but tonight I am going to enjoy myself, I am going to enjoy Nick's company and not spend every moment making sure I don't crack. I just can't handle that right now.

He slides his legs under the covers as well, setting the remote down beside him, and we both get comfortable, watching the start of the movie.

It's about halfway through the movie before I realize we have migrated closer to each other. Nick does a lot of things to try and crack me, but he would never do anything that he knows would make me just down right uncomfortable, or something he knows would be taking it too far, so I know he won't move any closer to me. The problem is, that's all I want. All I want is to be wrapped up in his arms again like earlier when I first got here. So, if I want it, I have to make the move. I'm not going to crack, I've held for way too long to do that, but being a little closer is okay... right?

Nick is lying on his back, he is propped up a bit thanks to some pillows behind his head and back. It takes me a second to finally decide to do it, but I eventually scoot just a little closer, allowing my head to rest itself on his chest. I notice his breathing stop for a moment, like that was the last thing he was expecting me to do, but soon I feel his chest softly lifting and falling like normal. The sound of his heartbeat melting any fear I have ever had away. I take the last step and let my arm drape over his stomach, getting comfortable but keeping my focus on the movie.

We stayed like that the whole rest of the movie. I had managed to make it through without falling asleep, and I knew Nick was awake too. The movie ended, and I knew I should get up. I should get up and go into the guest room without looking back, but instead I squeeze the arm I have wrapped around him tighter, speaking without looking up at him.

"Can I stay in here?" I asked quietly, I knew the answer, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"I would want nothing more." He answers.

As soon as his words leave his mouth I move off of him, turning my body to lay on my side, my back to his chest. I reach for his arm, pulling it over my body and then I grab the covers, sliding them up to engulf us both. His arm squeezes me tight, filling any and all space between our bodies.

I let out a breath, all my worries escaping with it. I just relax, letting myself enjoy being like this with Nick, letting myself enjoy being held like this.

I haven't been broken yet. I'm not broken until I finally tell him, until I cannot take it anymore and I tell him how I am hopelessly fucking in love with him, but tonight is making me feel like that might actually happen. This whole time I truly felt like I would never crack, he would never get me to say it, but now I just don't know...