Fearkeeper: Book 2 (Keeper Trilogy)

14

"Remus, don't walk away from me." Remus scoffed as he continued to ignore Roman who stumbled after him. "REMUS!"

"Just drop it, Roman. It doesn't matter."

"REMUS PLEAS..." There was a loud sound as Roman cried out and Remus froze up looking back to see Roman pushing himself up off the ground. "Shit."

"Did you just fall?" Roman nodded as he put himself into a sitting position. "What the hell, Roman? Are you trying to get yourself hurt? Do you even realize how many ways falling could kill you? What if you broke your neck? What if you snapped your knee and the bone went into your skull? What if..."

"I'm ok, Remus. Just..." Remus frowned seeing Roman tear up. His eyes darted over to see the patchwork door and his eyes widened in realization. 

"Roman..." Roman shook his head as Remus walked back over to him. "It's ok."

"No, it's not. I'm losing everyone. I lost you and then I lost Virgil and Deceit. And now I'm going to lose you again. How much longer until I lose Logan and Patton? I can't do my job. I'm useless to Thomas. I barely ever leave my room and I..."

"Roman, you lost Fear." Roman clammed up as Remus smiled sadly at him. "It's ok to be upset. It's ok to be broken. I should know. I'm broken. And this was before I lost Deceit."

"Ray..."

"It's ok to feel guilty. It's ok to feel empty. It's ok to feel broken. No one is going to judge you. You lost a piece of yourself Roman. A piece... you may never find again. It's not about fixing yourself... It's about living with the damage." Remus let out a shaky breath as he helped Roman up. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Remus smiled thinly as his eyes refused to leave the floor. When Roman spotted the door with what looked like scales he understood. "Remus, you don't have to..."

"Lead by example." Remus smiled as he pulled the key out of his pocket and shoved it into the keyhole with shakey hands.

"But Virgil's room isn't..." Roman froze up hearing the door click and Remus slowly opened the door. There was this blast of cold air making Roman shiver and hug himself but Remus just smiled. "Cold..." Remus frowned seeing Roman shiver. "Why is it so... c-cold? Virgil's room wasn't this cold?"

"Fear left the dark realm at a young age, Roman... He didn't have time to get accustomed to it." Remus slowly walked into the room snapping and creating a thick coat for Roman who just stood there frozen. "It's not as empty as I thought it would be without him."

"Remus, you don't have to do this." Roman watched as his brother looked around only to sit on the bed with this blank but tear-filled expression. "Rem..." This shiver went down the princes back making him look around and frowned. Those ghost eyes are back. Roman could literally feel them on him... on them. Like they were right behind him. "Remus?"

"Deceit was always so... energetic." Remus fiddled with his sash as his eyes darted about the place. "He was the life of the group. Pain... Kiara was reclusive... moody. Fear was shy hardly ever left my or Deceit's side. Kai was weak and tended to be sick but... Dee would put on these shows for them all. It was easy because of his illusions."

"You miss him." Remus nodded as he laid down as just stared at the ceiling. 

"I love him, Roman." Remus hugged the pillow as Roman sighed and walked further in ignoring the door that was open... despite the fact that it usually closed on its own. "I've loved him for so long. He was always able to make me laugh and smile. He didn't care about my thoughts. We fought against the monsters together as a team until... He got hurt." Remus's eyes darkened as he shook. "I wasn't there to protect him. Colt had me halfway across the realm and he... Deceit nearly died. When I found out I came running back. To hell with Colt and his stupid missions. The man I loved needed me but... When I got there... he was gone."

"He had packed up his things and left the realm entirely." Remus's voice shook as Roman sat beside him. "I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell him how I felt. It's my fault."

"Remus, you didn't know." The darker one just laid there as Roman shook his head. "You can't blame yourself over Patton. You didn't know it was him. You were doing your job."

"I told Colt he was there. You didn't do anything at all, and you're still blaming yourself." Roman's eyes shot wide as Remus pushed himself against the wall. "You did nothing. You were hurt and barely able to stay awake... I literally sent Colt to you guys. If it's not my fault, how is it yours."

"It not tha..." Roman froze as Remus smiled over at him. "It's not."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." Roman groaned as he shook his head and sighed. 

"It's not my fault. I couldn't help that I got hurt. I couldn't do anything with the damage I had. If I had tried I only would have gotten in the way and died myself." Roman hugged his knees as Remus just watched him. "He was protecting us. He was protecting me. You should have seen it, Ray. Really, you should have because I was knocked out." Remus laughed as Roman smiled sadly. "I get it ok? I do. I couldn't do anything. It wasn't my fault. "

"You don't believe that though." Roman smiled as Remus shot him this look. "Roman..."

"Neither do you. It's not about believing it, Remus." Roman sighed as he took his brother's hand with a smile. "It's about the small steps. First, you say it... then you start to believe it.  Saying it... vocalizing it is just the first step to forgiving yourself." Remus's eyes widened a bit before he smiled and nodded.

"Ok then." Remus squeezed Roman's hand as they both met each other's eyes and Roman nodded with a soft smile. "Together." The twins took a deep breath before speaking together with a breath of relief.

"It's not our fault."