some things are better left unsaid ; shizaya | ✔️

《 Prologue 》

《 Prologue 》

2007 |

Izaya Orihara hadn't always been as cruel and evil as he seemed to be.

No, as a child, he was entirely different. He was never good at expressing himself. He found it hard to fit in with the other classmates at school. They thought he was weird. And he supposed he was. He wasn't like the other children.

They found the normal things in life intriguing, like animals, school subjects like Maths. General things in life. Whereas Izaya... Izaya found people to be interesting. Although, it wasn't exactly people. It was people's reactions. He found them interesting. He found it incredible how every individual person could have a different reaction to a particular situation. He liked watching people. Their reactions. Sometimes he didn't do his work, he just observed for the whole lesson. Or the whole school day. It was something that he liked to do.

He didn't speak much in class. He didn't have any friends, and he was a little shy and self-conscious. So he avoided speaking completely. He stayed silently at the back of the class. Watching and listening. Nothing more than that.

This continued on for about a year. And as the year came his low confidence improved just that little bit and somehow he made a friend, a little shortly afterwards. If you could call him that. He was called Shinra Kishitani. He was a wannabe doctor. He was a little nerdy, and he loved Biology. And it must of been on the same day of meeting him did Shinra ask him to join a Biology Club he was starting. Izaya immediately declined. But it wasn't because he was bad at Biology. In fact, he was incredible at it. But even so, being part of a Biology Club wasn't on his agenda. He just wasn't interested (Maybe if it was far more interesting like people, for instance.), and what was worse - Shinra didn't even have a clue who he even was. Not even his name. It really did show how much people didn't care or take interest to Izaya.

In that week Shinra kept asking and Izaya kept saying no. He liked to be by himself. People just couldn't realise his own insecurities if they stayed away from him. He didn't want people to know the real him. He knew they would hate him. A self-conscious guy that liked observing people? Who would want to like them? Nobody. That's the answer to that.

It had gotten to the point where Izaya had started avoiding Shinra. He did everything to get away from him, but it was never enough. Shinra always found him.

And it must of been on Friday, a week later, when Izaya finally cracked. He gave in to Shinra and joined his Biology Club as Shinra's 'vice president.' And it was only after he joined did he realise it was only the two of them. Of course it was. Who else would even want to join?

They worked after school on Biology questions and problems, twice a week, for a couple of hours. Izaya didn't say much, he let Shinra do the talking. The raven sat silently and let his mind wander. He had a lot of thoughts in his mind but he didn't voice any of them. Nor did he voice the fact a Biology Club was pointless. It was just like taking an extra class of Biology, and it just didn't work with the two of them.

After the couple of hours had finished, Izaya went home. And that's something he always dreaded. He had two sisters that hated him. But it was OK though, the feeling was mutual. But it wasn't his siblings that he dreaded, it was his parents. They insulted him, told him they regretted having him, and put his sisters' first. He was left alone for hours on end. Ignored and abandoned.

But that wasn't the worse part. Once a week, his parents abused him. A slap across the cheek. A kick against his ribs. Again and again. He wasn't exactly sure why. He supposed it was because they regretted having him. Maybe they wanted him gone. Were they trying to get rid of him?

Or after all this time... was it because of his sexuality?

He remembered an earlier conversation between him and his parents. They were going on and on about what type of woman he would marry when he was older, and he blurted out that he wasn't attracted to girls. Was it normal to be attracted to guys, and not girls? Clearly his parents didn't think so.

His mother called him every name under the sun, and his dad punched him against his face. Izaya made a startled noise and fell backwards. His dad grabbed a hold of the front of his tee shirt and pulled him up from the ground. His dad raised his fist again, and Izaya flinched and looked away, waiting for the punch.

"You're attracted to girls, and that's the final word of this!" His dad shouted at him, his grip tightening on Izaya's tee shirt.

But dad~! Izaya's insides were screaming, but he couldn't speak. He never could. Why was he always so silent? Why couldn't he speak for himself? Why was he like this?

Izaya's dad shook him and sneered at him with, "If there's any mention of this nonsense, there will be consequences. You hear me?"

Izaya swallowed hard. It was a sore memory, and he was sure it always would be. Since then Izaya had been thinking to himself that maybe life would be better without him in it. Or maybe he was better without any of his family in it. Only if he older, he could leave home, start life anew. Somewhere else. If he died, would he come back as a different person? Somebody everybody liked, and wanted to be around?

Izaya wanted to change, but he didn't know how. But was it him that needed to change, or was it everybody around him that needed to?

Apart from the weird hobby he had of observing people, why did people dislike him so much? He just couldn't understand it. What had he done so wrong in his life? Was he born unlucky and so unloved?

And it really made him wonder if his life would ever change? Would his whole entire life always be like this?

—

Hello! Welcome to my new #Shizaya fanfiction. It will mainly be Izaya-centric. Yes, a fanfic based around Izaya. Hope you enjoy it!