Deep in our heads

Part 12.1 - 2016

"And way down we go
Way down we go
Say way down we go
Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til you fall
Way down we go"

--2016--

 My leg hurts way less than it did twenty minutes ago and I try not to think about it. It's so cold that I can't even feel the tips of my fingers and that's probably why my legs feel so numb. I crawl my way to the front of the quinjet to try and peak through the windshield. I have to focus all my strength in my arms in order to sit in the driver's seat. Thank god the serum makes me heal faster ; I'll be ready to go in an hour or so. But still...everything could happen in the meantime. What if the other Winter Soldiers attack them ? I know Bucky and Steve are strong but...they can't take them all out. I let out a huge breath and see some fog form before me. God, how could I forgot how cold it is out here ? I try to reach Bucky through the intercom.

  "Bucky ? Do you copy ?"

  "..."

  "Shit." I sigh and jerk my head backwards. They're probably fighting right now. I should be out there, helping them. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of all of this. It's like whenever things start falling into place, there's always something, or someone, to mess it all up. Who the hell is that guy anyway ? And why does he want to hurt Bucky ? My Bucky ? As I look out of the window again, something catches my eyes. Another vehicle has landed here and the guy that comes out... Fuck, cat-man again ? I can't let him get too Bucky. There's no way I'm letting him do that. But he's fast, faster than me and I have to follow him. I wait for him to go inside before actually going out of the quinjet. If he sees me, maybe I won't be able to fight back. Alright, let's do this. I press the opening button and get out of this stupid place. I can barely walk but that will do. I lean on the wall next to me and once I get to the door, I feel like my ankle is gonna break into pieces. Hold on, y/n. You can do this. You have to. Thankfully, I can tell they're not too far away from me : I hear their voices. And I also hear...Tony's voice ? I get to another door and listen close to what they're saying.

  "Did you know ?"

  Steve mumbles something that I can't understand.

  "Did you know ?" Tony asks again. His voice sounds desperate and broken. It feels like he wants the answer to be "no". But that's not what Steve has to say.

  "Yes."

  A metallic sound lets me know it's time for me to come in.

  "Stop !"

  Tony looks at me and his eyes are so full of sadness and anger that I actually freeze for a second. Until I hear Bucky calling after me. "Y/n, I told you to stay out of here..." He comes up to me in an instant and places an arm around y waist. I put mine over his shoulder to put some weight of my hurt leg. "I couldn't...I couldn't leave you. What happened here ?"

  "It's..."

  "Aaahh, Miss y/n, the Ruby Raven... I thought you would never show up."

  The man who just spoke has a funny accent, somewhere between Russian and German. "Who the hell are you ?" I ask.

  "He's the one who framed me for what happened in Vienna," Bucky whispers in my ear, not looking away from that guy. That's when I notice it : the shake in Bucky's voice. Why does he look so shocked and in pain ?

  "Bucky ? W-what happened ?"

  "He killed my parents."

  I turn my gaze to Tony and my heart breaks along with his. Did Steve tell him ? Or did that guy...?

  "See," the man says, "I think it is time for Mister Stark to know the whole truth. Isn't it ?"

  "What truth are you talking about ?"

  "I'm talking about the real footage of what happened that night. Because we all know the Winter Soldier didn't work alone. And on December 16th, 1991... He didn't do all the job."

  I look at Bucky and Steve, confused. What is he talking about ? I know what happened on that night. I crashed the car and the Winter Soldier killed Howard and Maria Stark. I don't have much time to think about it as a video plays in front of us. I know that road, I know that car and... is that... is that me ?

Bucky's pov

  Y/n's face is crumbling under our eyes. I don't remember anything that happened that night and seeing myself do that to Howard Stark was painful enough. But this ? I thought y/n would've told me. I mean...she would've. When she told me the truth about us, about the Winter Soldier and how she helped me escape from time to time, she told me about the Starks. She told me how I...he killed them. She didn't tell me she was the one who spoke Maria Stark to death. The lack of emotion in her eyes, on that footage...it can't be real. There must be something wrong with the video. It's fake. It has to be.

  "Tony I-"

  "Don't."

  She lets go of my shoulder and I know she's gonna do something stupid. I know it. She walks up to Tony and weirdly, I can't tell what she's thinking. I usually find it so easy. When her forehead is slightly furrowed or when she bites her lower lip, when she lowers her gaze... Why can't I figure it out ? She stops a few inches away from him and stares at him in the eyes.

  "Go ahead," she says.

  I walk to her side and try to take her hand. She doesn't move. Neither does Stark.

  "Go ahead," she repeats with tears in her eyes.

  "It hurts, doesn't it ?" Zemo's saying. "You thought the Winter Soldier was the only one whose memory got wiped out. He wasn't."

  She shakes her head as if to make him shut up. "Go ahead and just... Just do it," she whispers.

  "Tony, she didn't know."

  I look at Steve with wide eyes : he's gonna make things worse.

  "Did you ?"

  "No. I- I didn't." Steve looks down at his feet.

  "Go ahead, Stark !" She's yelling at him now. "Do me a favour and kill me already !"

  "Y/n, stop, please, you can't..." She doesn't even look at me as I try to pull her arm. If she doesn't want to move, I'll maker her move. But I can't let Stark kill her. She's all I have.

  "Do it, Stark ! I killed your mom !" She grabs Tony's armoured arm and directs it right at her chest. There are tears rolling down her cheeks.