As y/n is interrogated by Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, memories of her life as the Ruby Raven start resurfacing. She used to work hand in hand with the Winter Soldier. Except she knows there's more to that, more to him, and she's determined to...
"We can't look back for nothin' Take what you need say your goodbyes I gave you everything This darkness is the light"
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--2016--
"You've let your hair grow again."
"Yeah." James shrugs and strokes Alpine's head. We've been here for three days now and he barely talks to me.
"What's the plan ?" I ask. "What are we gonna do about what they say in the news ?"
"I don't know. I guess I'll keep hiding." I can't help but notice he says 'I' instead of 'we' and it gives my heart a squeeze. I try not to think about it : I deserve this. I'm the one who lied.
"What if Rogers comes to arrest us."
"I'll run."
"You'll run, huh ?" I give my voice some sass but I can't hide the sadness in it. Why doesn't he want me to be a part of this ?
"Yeah, I'll run away."
"Away from me ?"
He freezes and looks away.
"Yeah."
"James, I-"
"You what ?" He turns to me and his eyes are filled with anger. I've never seen James getting angry. When we were together, he was all smiles and softness. "You'll follow me and we'll live the perfect life you pictured for us ? The life you tried to make me live just so you could escape H.Y.D.R.A. without actually doing something ?" He sighs and clenches his jaw. "I won't be manipulated again, you hear me ?"
"You think I- I manipulated you ?" My heart's breaking even more now and I hold back my tears. I'm both devastated and furious. How can he say this ?
"Well, not like they did. But let's be honest for a second, shall we ?" His voice is sarcastic and I can tell I'm not gonna like what's next. "You wanted someone to talk to, someone to make you feel better about yourself. That's why you woke me up."
"That's not-"
"You wanted to help me ?" He points at his chest and his eyes fill with tears. Mine are probably crying already. "You only helped yourself. How could you even want to help me ? You didn't know me, for God's sake ! I was a stranger to you and you-"
"Fuck it, James, of course I did it for you !" I'm screaming, yelling at him with all the anger that's building up in my body. "I failed at saving my sister and even I could tell you didn't deserve what they were doing to you. I saw the records, the documentaries and... I knew you wouldn't have wanted that and I tried to give you as much freedom as possible. I tried, James, I did ! And if you think-"
"Stop it. You don't understand. You can't understand what I mean."
"I can't understand ?" I scoff and shrug at the same time. I'm crying now and I don't even care anymore. "I never told you my full story, James. You don't know that H.Y.D.R.A. killed my family off so they could recruit me. You don't know I was tortured for a whole year before they told me my sister was alive. You don't know how the men of H.Y.D.R.A. used me when I wasn't on a mission. Do you know what happened when I turned eighteen ?" I lift up my shirt and show him the huge scar at the bottom of my belly. "They ripped me off of the only hope I had of having a family and escaping them. They killed me, James, they destroyed me. You obviously don't know that I spent the last two years having horrific nightmares about them or about you telling me exactly what you just said. How could you know that, after all ? You don't even care."
