The Ties that Bind Me Book 1

The Hardest Admission

The morning light came and I finally got up, my legs cramping with each movement, but not as bad as it was while I was healing. I walked slowly to the kitchen to grab some food before heading to the gigantic library to get some new books. I placed them in my room, washed up and changed before heading down to help unload the trucks. I wasn't going to stop doing one exercise because I had picked up another. I would tough out anything given to me and I would do it without sleep if necessary. Each day passed for me as thus and I didn't mind one bit. It went by like that for three months in the same routine, trucks, sleep, study, and training. I made sure that I wasn't lacking on anything my body needed and I worked hard to keep my distance from everyone, for fear of getting close to anyone else.

Lolek stayed in the background, a silent watcher to my everyday routine and it bugged me. I didn't attempt to talk to him but then I would throw myself into my days much more. There were many days when I wanted so much to grab him and tell him how stupid I thought he was. I cared for him, part of me wanted him and he definitely had a piece of my heart. I wondered if there was a part of me that didn't want to be with him, to be out of this situation, maybe meet him in a different state of time. In all of the days I worked, there were some when I worked harder trying to shove him out of my mind. It never worked though, and most days I would cry myself to sleep wanting him to hold me, to make the unbearable pain disappear. It was one day fourth months after I started working with Gethin that he pulled me aside. I had gotten to like him over the months and his down to earth demeanor. I thought of him like a grandfather that was overly critical.

Gethin* أنت تعرف حتى رغبات الجسم هي أن يتم الاهتمام بها بقدر الاحتياجات. آلام قلبك وليس من السهل تحمله. أثناء عملك الليلة ، فكر في قلبك وما يخبرك به. (You know even the body's wants are to be heeded as much as the needs. Your heart aches and it isn't an easy thing to bear. As you work tonight, think on your heart and what it tells you.)

I moved into another stretching position and launched myself backward placing my feet to my head and then stretching them down to my shoulders. I didn't notice him leave, yet once I saw he was gone I kept up with my work out. I went through each exercise until the sun came up. Once done I went back inside as usual and went to the kitchen for breakfast. Once I grabbed everything I needed I moved into the back of the kitchens and helped with the trucks. There weren't many today as we were keeping up with the influx that had originally come our way. After finishing I went to my room and opened a book for a bit of studying, but I was stopped in my tracks by a knock on my door. I placed my drink down and put my plate on my bedside table so I could answer the door.

He was there, his dark complexion causing me to sweat. His green eyes could always see into my soul and more than anything I wanted him to hold me. His eyes looked serious as he walked closer to me, all the while I watched his every movement. I could feel my body respond to him and he wasn't even touching me. I closed the door once again and turned to see him right in front of me. His hand grasped mine lightly and I knew that I was close to losing control.

"Lol-lolek we need to talk, I have some things I have to say."

He nodded as he led me over to the bed, his hand brushing my hair out of my face. "What is it Imiri, what's on your mind?"

I took a breath to steady myself as his fingers traced patterns on the back of my hand. "I have been thinking a lot lately and some sagely advice really helped. I have been really trying to think of how to tell you this, but there doesn't seem to be an easy way, well for me anyway. I guess there is only one way that I can say this and help you to understand." I grasped his face in my hands and gently brought him closer to me, my lips gently pressing to his and I melted into him. "I love you with all my heart, you have really changed my world and I thank you for being my light in this place of darkness."

I could see the light in his eyes and feel the smile upon his lips. His hands grasped my hair lightly and I twined my hands round his neck. I pressed my lips eagerly to his and the wonderful bliss that spread through me was enough to light me in the darkest of nights. His voice sounded like velvet upon my skin healing wounds I didn't even know existed.

"I have watched you surpass me in every training so far, and I wondered how I would tell you that I love you and your will to survive. Imiri I have kept my distance to keep Inara off of you, but I think you have yourself handled better than I thought. Imiri, be with me, be mine and stay by my side. We will make it out of here together I know we can.

I ended his words with a kiss, leaning him back onto the bed and finally getting to have him the way he so gently had me. I got lost in the kisses and caresses upon my skin, but I had never felt so alive. He slowly stripped away my clothes and laid me bare, venerable in ways I had never felt, but felt safer than ever.