Something About Me

The disaster and the consequences

Disaster? How would you define that? It might be an earthquake, tsunami or a volcanic eruption speaking in scientific terms. Normally one would relate it to an accident or a death of your dear ones. For me disaster means losing a part of yourself. My disaster happened in the most unexpected way. My result day. Now this might seem stupid for you but that's not the whole thing. I was a straight A student from the first grade itself. It was not because I was naturally intelligent but more of parental pressure. The pressure was too much that I believed I had no other purpose in life other than scoring good marks. This continued for a long time until I entered 8th grade. The new friend circle taught me how to enjoy life. My grade did slip here and there but I managed to keep the final grade upto the mark. With that I entered 10th grade. I was put into private tutoring classes for math and science. According to the society in my place your 10th grade result is one of the most important thing in life. All I expected was study, eat, sleep, study and repeat the above cycle. But that one year was one of my most memorable years of my school life. Starting with I was made the captain of my group (containing students from grade 6 to 12) for extra curricular activities. That was one of my keys to easily bunk classes and have fun. I didn't have much to study as most of it was covered in my private classes. The whole year was so much fun and when the main exams came I was actually not tensed. Compared to others I knew I had studied (mostly practice) extremely less but what I had studied the concepts I was thorough with. And all this studying was like done in the day before the exam.
The most surprising thing were the results. I got a perfect 10 cgpa without any upgradation with the help of my credit subjects. There were like just four of us who got that. It was an achievement and I did receive my praise from all the corners. My parents were flying on cloud nine. It was such a happy phase.
So where is the disaster? It happened with my 12 grade result. These results are highly important as they decide which college we get into. From a topper I dropped down to just an average student ( not that I have anything against them). My result which was just an 80 percent shocked people but I guess they were secretly happy. The people who were more shocked than me were my parents. They were furious and they let out all the frustration on me. I accept that it was my fault. I didn't focus on my academics after my 10th grade which led to my downfall.
Agreed my result was not the best and people talked about it but does that define who I am? I still the bear the taunts of my parents about it as I could not make to a good college. I am in a average college right now but it's not that bad. After the results I would say it was a turning point in my life. I realised that my oh so great social circle was nothing but fake and even my parents were more worried what others would think rather than supporting me.
I cried alone at nights and I still do sometimes. It's depressing that just one result changed the whole equation of my life.
The memory of it hurts me a lot. The constant taunts from my parents mainly my mother is killing me slowly. I had almost lost hope but then realised that this is life. Not the happy time I had from 8th to 10th grade but these lonely moments when everyone has deserted you.
I am pushing myself forward and writing this journal here on Wattpad is one of my ways.
I have an exam tomorrow but here I am typing my heart out to you guys. This gives me a new purpose to my life. I feel light hearted after sharing one of my dark moments with you guys.

Well this was the disaster and its consequences and I am not sure if these consequences have been bad to me or good. It might seem bad at this moment but I hope it turns out to be good in the long run.

Yours
Sarah Jones

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