Something About Me

College

College life is something everyone talks about fondly, reminiscing the old days of fun, parties and bunking classes. Each and everyone after school await for this amazing phase of life that is college life. The same goes with me. I had seen so many of my seniors enjoying their college days to the utmost and at the same time studying well enough to get themselves a good job or get selected for higher studies abroad. I had the same thing in my mind too. I wanted to major in computer science since I enjoyed that subject in high school. I had the perfect plan. Get myself to a good college, major in computer science, make new friends, enjoy the four years of my life, then complete my higher studies abroad, get myself a good job and settle down. Sounds good right? But life doesn't give everything you want. Since you already know about the great disaster of my life I got into an average college. There are many other worse colleges than that but my college is not that great. Major drawback? It's extremely strict making it seem like a school, the job placements here are not so great, the college comes under another University hence it must follow the rules of the university. Basically it was like going back to school. But I guess I had more fun in school compared to what's going in college. And as the icing on the cake are my parents. They wanted me to go to a better college so they could brag about it to their friends but I guess I am just a huge disappointment. The fact that few of my classmates are studying in way much better college than me doesn't cool the fire down.
Anyways the first ten days of the college there was induction program. It was mainly to make ourselves comfortable in the surroundings, get to know others and make new friends. I am glad that they had this program for various reasons. Mainly because they would provide free lunch to everyone which was just yum(yeah I am big foodie). I got to know others from my class  made a couple of friends. Risha and Siya with whom I hangout usually in the college. Roy and Param are my other two friends who are quite fun. This was the only time when I felt relaxed and enjoyed myself a bit.
When the classes started everything went back to the way it was. The same old routine of attending classes, completing assignments, writing tests, completing records and the usual  dosage of waste I am from my parents.
My two friends Risha and Siya are quite good. We have our own share of fun but I can feel that they both are more attached and close leaving me like that of a third wheel. My ideas and opinions hardly match theirs making me bored out to have a fun conversation with them. The others? Let's just say they are worst. Most of them bunk classes and do what not activities. I am not into such stuff and if my parents found out........
About Param and Roy well they usually hangout with their group and we talk mostly study related stuff not personal issues.
So my social life is kind of really bad at present. I am in touch with few of my school friends but that will be some other chapter.
With my parents, constant fighting with my younger sister and the "great" college my life has turned to one big mess. Out side I seem happy and normal. But I am hurt emotionally and mentally everyday. I start crying all of a sudden and become emotional at every small thing. I can feel the loneliness around me. I don't even know what's happening to me. I just know I need friendship, love and care all of three which I will not get. And by the time if I get it might have been to late.

Yours
Sarah Jones

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