tick tock

sixteen

i press my lips to billies hand as we walk to her car. it wasnt too long after my little episode under the bleachers that billie just decided to take me home instead of making me sit through the rest of the long hours of school.

we both get into her car and she ignites the engine, looking over at me.

"do you want to go home and rest or do you want to go to our spot?" she asks softly, her hand connecting with my thigh. "it's up to you, viv."

"I just want to be with you," I mumble quietly, my cheeks stiff from the dried tears. "I dont care where we go, as long as I'm with you."

"you're so cheesy," she says with a laugh before shifting the car into drive, pulling out of the parking space and out of the parking lot. "how about we just drive."

"I'm fine with that," I say, my eyes gazing out of the window.

we sit in silence, the only sound being the revving of the engine, as I watch the cars and scattered palm trees fly by. billie pulls onto the empty interstate carefully and my hands move to grip onto the hem of my shirt.

"I wont get stopped this time," she says over the engine, a playful smile gracing her lips. "I promise."

"even if you do," i let out a weak laugh, looking over at the girl. "I wouldnt mind."

"that shit was fun, wasnt it?" she laughs, draping one wrist over the steering wheel while the other reaches over to grab my hand.

"fun and scary as hell," I say, shaking my head slightly as I look at her posture.

"you're not wrong," she mumbles, her thumb running over my knuckles slowly as she switches lanes. "when my parents bought me this car, they made me swear that I wouldnt get into any accidents, and that I'd be careful and never get pulled over."

I let out a loud laugh at this statement, my head leaning against the headrest as I look at the girl. goddamn, shes beautiful. "well, did they find out that you got pulled over?"

"nope," billie says with a pop as she glances at me. "they also dont know what I plan to do in the backseat one day."

I raise my eyebrows at her, my neck jerking just slightly as I glance into the backseat. "and what exactly are you planning?"

a smirk crosses her lips as her tongue darts out to wet them. "I've always wanted to fuck someone in that backseat," she shrugs nonchalantly, glancing over at me as she once again switches lanes. "and I think I have found that someone."

I roll my eyes at her words and look out the window. "I know you're not talking about me."

she hums lowly and squeezes my hand, bringing it up to her lips to kiss the inside of my wrist. "oh, but i am."

"and who says id be down with that?" I question, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

"trust me, viviana, itll happen." I can see her nod in my peripheral vision. "itll happen when we least expect it."

"we'll see about that," I mumble, squeezing her hand. "anyway, do you want to tell me why you've been skipping so much lately?"

I feel her tense up a bit and my thumb runs over her knuckles slowly. she lets out a deep sigh and uses her knee to steady the steering wheel as she shoved her hand through her already messy hair.

"I've been ticking a lot lately," she mutters when her hand connects with the steering wheel again. "it's been really bad, so my mom said that I didnt have to go."

i frown and look over at the girl, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "do you know why you've been ticking so much?"

she shakes her head slightly and sighs deeply, her eyes becoming glossy. "I dont, but it's getting really fucking annoying."

"you're really good at controlling it," I murmur to her, turning my body so my leg is comfortably underneath my body. "it might just be stress, or the fact that you'll be eighteen soon-"

"I dont think turning eighteen has anything to do with it, viv," she says softly, shaking her head just slightly. "finneas got signed to a label, and hes doing great - and then theres me - I'm up to my neck in school work that I'm procrastinating on, and on top of that, i apparently go to church now-"

"which you dont have to do." I interrupt, but she keeps going.

"I need a new water pump for my car, my dad is being an ass about me needing a new water pump for my car. my grades are getting low, which means my parents are gonna take my car." she rambles on, her neck jerking lightly. "which in turn means that I wont be able to see you whenever I want to - so I'll be even more stressed than I already am-" her neck jerks again, this time harder. the car jerks along with her neck and I instinctively grab onto the wheel.

"bil, I need you to pull over," I tell her softly, one hand on the back of her neck as the other stays on the wheel. "you're getting worked up and i kind of like breathing."

she places her head in her hands as she slows the car down. i pull the steering wheel carefully onto the median and put the car in park.

unbuckling my seatbelt, I turn toward billie. she has her eyes squeezed shut and her head faced away from me. I can see her fingers combing through her hair, trying to hide the harsh jerking of her neck.

"billie, look at me," I say softly, one of my hands resting on her thigh. slowly, her head turns toward me and I see tears streaming down her face, her neck continuing to jerk harshly. "take a deep breath."

she attempts to inhale deeply, but stops when her neck jerks once again. "fuck!" she shouts, her hands hitting the steering wheel harshly.

I take her face into my hands gently and press my lips to her forehead, murmuring softly, "match my breathing, baby.."

after about twenty minutes of sitting on the side of the road, my hand brushing billies hair from her face, and our lungs expanding to the same rhythm, billie had finally calmed down. with the exception of the occasional neck jerk.

"do you need me to drive?" I ask her softly, my hand connecting with hers lovingly.

she looks over at me and shakes her head, a soft smile gracing her lips as she chuckles. "I love you, but not that much."

wait.

she just said she loves me.

this is so bad im so sorry 😭  im most likely gonna time skip the next chapter so be ready.