When I met you

Amanda - Chapter 1

I am sure I was born to love and to be loved, I always knew that, since I was a child.

I did not have as many boyfriends as I wished, but I was looking for the one that would last forever, and that was a difficult search.

The last of them made me sure that the few with whom I related - three in all - were not who I was looking for; the last one I stayed with was for the longest time, but the disappointment came early in the relationship, I tried everything to make it work, but I could not: inevitably the end came.

I decided that I should change everything: address, phone number, job, and even city.

So, I came to this small, remote city in an attempt to detach myself from everything and everyone.

I said at home that I was going on a long trip, I did not tell them I was leaving. I would call them when I arrived and when I was about to return, but I would never return. And so, I packed my bags, threw all the memories of them - from the ex - outside, closed the windows and locked the door. I walked out the gate without looking back.

***

The house I rented was already fully furnished, but I needed things to give my touch in the house so that I really felt at home.

I left my bags in what would be my room and went after shops to buy what was missing.

It was a long and tiring afternoon, but I loved every little piece I bought, and I was so excited to get home soon and put everything away and leave it all to my face.

I had to take a taxi because of the bags, and the other things were delivered home the same day.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning, organizing, decorating... and when it was over it was too late, so I took a shower and went to bed, started reading, but soon fell asleep.

I woke up the other day with the sunlight striking my face. I had no idea what time it was, but I felt like I slept well. For a long time, I had not slept so much and so quietly. I picked up my cell phone to see the time - 10:30 am - I was happy and thought of staying a little longer in bed, but I could not, so I got up, went to the bathroom, and prepared my breakfast. I thought it would be nice to have it outside the house; behind the house there is a small green area with tables and chairs, a small garden, no walls or fences, it looks like a common area with the neighbor's house, but I noticed that there is a similar space in the house next to mine. I was a little intrigued by this, but I did not want to worry and ruin the moment.

As I imagined, the breakfast was quiet and beautiful with the scenery: the blue sky as it should be in the summer.

While eating breakfast and admiring the scenery, I tried to plan my day, I had no idea what to do that day, or the next; I sat outside for a long time, and then caught myself remembering my past...

"Are you ready?", he asked me.

We were in front of the apartment building door where I lived, it took me a while to understand what he wanted with that question, but when I understood it, I was so embarrassed that I did not know what to answer.

He asked me if I was ready to kiss him, and of course I was caught off guard, it would be my first kiss on someone's mouth.

I was very young, and he was my first crush: to me, he was boyish perfection - blond and tall. I do not remember how it all started, I just remember my mother wondering if I was dating him, and I got scared - I was going to tell her, but he told his mother first and she told mine, they were friends.

Unlike what I thought my mother's reaction would be, she just told me it was for me to be careful. I think she did not want me to suffer anytime soon. In the end, I did not kiss him and he consequently turned away from me. He and his family moved, and I never saw him again. He was my first boyfriend, the gateway to other crushes.